The Jewish Woman's Goal (Per R' Avigdor Miller)

I think it is important to read and to learn even from those with whom we disagree. Thus, case in point, I provide this excerpt from Sing, You Righteous by R' Avigdor Miller. Don't rush to criticize- just think about what he says- even if it's entirely against everything you believe. If I can do it (and I'm precisely the type of person who will end up with a 'ruined life' per him), I'm sure you can.

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G. We shall always continue, but there [the Yeshiva] is where you will become great. Everyone needs the Torah-environment. If you had a sister, her road would lead to Beth Jacob.

A. And afterward?

G. To early marriage. The greatest career for a woman is to be wed to a disciple of the Sages, which is equivalent to a lifelong sojourn in the Yeshivah. This is the way to join the Shechinah. "You shall cling to Him" (Dvarim 10:20); "Cling to the Sages and their disciples, and it is considered as if you ascend on high" (Sifri, Dvarim 11:22), "Therefore one should attempt...to wed his daughter to a Talmid Chacham, and to eat and drink with Talmidei Chachamim...and to associate with them in every way" (Kesubos 111 B; RMBM, Deos 6:2). There is no better opportunity for this than marriage. When a woman's children become Talmidei Chachamim, or are married to them, she comes still closer to God. The false lure of a "career" leads nowhere at best, and it usually ends up in a ruined life. Marriageability shrinks with each additional year, and one is reduced to second choices. There is no Romance as truly beautiful and rearding as a Jewish home where the Shechinah dwells. Even the Mishkan and the Mikdash are but an echo of the Sanctuary wherein Abraham and Sarah lived their noble lives. And how much more so when blessed with many children, for then is added the infinite achievement of new worlds ("One who adds another soul to Israel is as if he had built a world"- RMBM, Ishus 15:16). Such a happily-busy woman is like a Rosh Yeshivah, and even her household chores are like Torah-discourses.

A. Is that all?

G. It is more than all else. Certainly it depends on the degree of intent for the sake of Heaven, just as even the Rosh Yeshivah must teach for the sake of Heaven. In addition is the world of Kindliness, Charity, Znius and endeavor for the strengthening of the Torah, all of which are available to the daughters of Jacob. Some may find opportunity for Chovos Halvovos, RMBM (Deos and Teshuvah), Cusari, Shaare Teshuvah (Rabeinu Yonah), Mesillas Yesharim and many other treasuries of Torah; and also biographies of Zaddikim. Some might become capable of writing books to inspire the youth. But a Torah-home is in itself an achievement of a skilled architect: "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tear it down" (Mishle 14:1). The wise mother is a builder of the nation. David said: "I am Your servant, the son of your handmaiden" (Tehillim 116:16); i.e. my mother was my model of service of G-d. Shlomoh said: "Hear, my son, the instruction of your father; and forsake not the teaching of your mother" (Mishle 1:8); and we have a chapter of his mother's admonitions (ibid., 31). The self-control, diplomacy and foresight of the wise Jewish wife make her an analogy for the Torah (Koheles 9:9; Kiddushin 30B): "See life with the woman you love."

~pages 355-356

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Now, if you are anything like me, your lips have already curled up in distaste. It's hard to entertain other people's viewpoints, isn't it? But worthwhile, I think. Personally, my favorite quote is "Such a happily-busy woman is like a Rosh Yeshivah, and even her household chores are like Torah-discourses."

I wonder what would happen if I told my Bais Yaakov friends they were like Roshei Yeshiva! I'm almost tempted to do it.