The Fairy Queen 3

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

~ excerpt from the song 'Angels or Devils' by Dishwalla

The thing about strong people, the Fairy Queen reflected, is that they refuse to allow anything to make them cold. Where others become cynical or jaded, the strong people persevere in loving all those who cross their paths. Maybe it kills them sometimes, but in the long run, it's worth it. Despite this, their journey on earth is a walk through hell. They look forward to meeting God. "At last," they will say when they see Him. "Why did it take so long for You to bring me to You?"

And God will say, "I needed you to learn how to care for others."

"Why?" the Fairy Queen will ask.

"Didn't you know?" God will question, His eyes curious. "You are my shepherdess."

"A Queen is a shepherdess?" the Fairy Queen will laugh, her eyes alight.

"But of course," God will answer. "As was Moses, as was David."

"But I'm nothing like them," the Fairy Queen will protest.

"Don't you know that everyone can be like Moses or Jeroboam?" God will question.

"Well yes, but..." she'll trail off.

"You are my shepherdess," He'll say. "The walk through hell was necessary. Consider my other servants."

And the Fairy Queen will look at Moses and David and all those assembled and realize that what God says is true.

"You made it so the only one I could ever trust was You," she will say. "Everyone else betrayed me."

"Yes," God will say, His voice sonorous.

"But that's the case with Moses and David as well. Aaron had betrayed Moses by the making of the Golden Calf. Miriam when she spoke ill of his separation from his wife. He was forbidden to live with Tzipporah. The people suspected him of adultery with their wives. He had only You. It was the same with David. His father-in-law wished to kill him, his wife rebuked him, his advisor defected to his sons, who rebelled against him. He took the woman who loved him through hurting another and every time he looked at her he remembered his sin. Jonathan, who loved him, was taken from him. You were the only constant in his life as well. You were the only one he could turn to."

"Precisely," God will say.

"But why?" the Fairy Queen will ask.

"That is the only way to forge the strong ones," God will say.

And the Fairy Queen will cry, but they will be healing tears, for at last, she understands completely. "Thank you, God," she will whisper.

"My daughter," He will say. And she will bow her head. Because that is true. She has always been and will always be His. Before He formed her in the womb, He knew her, and before she was born, He sanctified her. There are people created solely for God; their lives are lived in His shadow. God had cast His mantle over her before she had wits to think or a mouth to speak, and no matter her rebellion, she would remain as one touched by His will.

And while this realization was painful, there was a strange element of comfort in it.