Thursday, August 27, 2009

To God, Let Me Offer Up My Thanks

I am touched.

My roommate wrote me a letter and it is very beautiful and therefore I am touched.

You see, it is consistently amazing to me that I have friends at all, let alone people who appreciate me and acknowledge my various efforts in various forums. I have never forgotten what it was like to be the outcast kid, shy, lonely and desperately wanting to be friends with people who already had friends (and thus didn't need me.)

It is very special indeed to realize that I am blessed, that there are indeed people who are friends with me and who care about what I do and how I am. For this I owe thanks to God. Only those who have experienced it can know how cold, how bitterly cold it is to not only be lonely but alone. I wouldn't relive 7th grade for the world. Whatever troubles I have now pale in significance to the torturous and unrelenting unhappiness I felt then, day in and day out.

I still feel lonely sometimes, but thank God, I am blessed in that I am not alone. And this is a very significant blessing. I must never forget it. Sometimes I am inclined to grieve too much for what I do not have as opposed to focusing on the good that has been given me. God, I am very, very grateful to You for allowing me access to a world where I have the ability to form relationships with other people and to have them value me, even at the times where I do not value myself. It is a great and tremendous blessing, and I thank you, God.


Anonymous said...

This was a great post!

Hey, if we can't be honest with
G-d, then who with?

We do love you out here Chana, and even though many of us will never have the opportunity to be friends with you personally we are thankful for the blessing you have been to us!

As an aside, the times when we are alone (for what ever reason) can also teach us to value others more than we otherwise would, that in turn allows us to appreciate friends, and even strangers, as the gifts they are or can be unto us.

So, I suppose all things can teach, even loneliness.

May you be blessed to be a blessing!


ab said...

Wow. I could have written this post myself.

B"H for being loved, and for not being alone.