Monday, November 09, 2009

Crash and Burn Friends

Do you feel like you have a friend in the Savage Garden "Crash and Burn" sense? Here are the lyrics to the song.

And how did you find this dream-come-true sort of person? In general, what do you think friendship entails? Do you have many friends or only a few? Did you like your good friends from the outset?


Moshe said...

Is this what old folks like me and Gil Student call a friend who's "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Waters?"

Moshe Shoshan

Anonymous said...

"In general what do you think friendship entails?"

In my opinion, [and if its MY opinion it must be correct ;)] a friend is someone who will never hurt you puposefully, or demean you in any way.

And, dovetailing this with your other posts on intergender friendships such genuine friendships could and do work out fine. If you truly like and respect your friend(s) you aren't going to demean them by engaging in selfish improprieties just to satiate yourself or your lust through them (eww, just writing that seems disgusting).

A friend is someone who looks after your interests as well as their own. Friendship is in that way oddly uncapitalistic (Drat, I'm a huge fan of capitalism!)


Anonymous said...

"A true friend is someone that knows the song of your soul, and
sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
~ Anon

This kind of friend won't lie to you, will be there for you in time of darkness as well as happiness and will celebrate your successes as if they were his own.

Erachet said...

"A true friend is someone that knows the song of your soul, and
sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
~ Anon

Or helps you to remember it on your own.

dustfinger said...

Just to add on to what anon 9:23 said,
"...a friend is someone who will never hurt you purposely, or demean you in anyway way..."

A friend may sometimes hurt you purposefully if it's for your benefit. (i.e. If you have a tendency to give suggestions, but continuously urge your friend to follow them, she may tell you that, "It seems like you want to control my life. I don't really care about your suggestions if that's why you're telling them to me."
You may come across as a control-freak, but really, your desire to overly-help another person simply runs in your personality.
In a friend-friend relationship, honesty is essential, even if it hurts. (Of course, it should be done as nicely as possible, but it does not always eliminate the hurt.)

Anonymous said...

Anon. 9:23 stands properly corrected.

I wasn't considering the possibility that any of us could possibly ever need chastising! ;)

Very good point, Dustfinger. A proper thrashing, while painful, is sadly sometimes called for...


Irina Tsukerman said...

You can't really have many "true" friends. You can have many good acquaintances, but that's different.

I am very lucky to have some really great friends, including some who really "get" me on all levels. The best friends are those who challenge each other and who help each other's personal growth in some respects, and I definitely am blessed for having encountered such people!

Scraps said...

It has taken me many years to find them, but I think that at this point in my life, I can finally say that I truly have "crash and burn" friends. They are 100% there for me when I need them - but what is more, they know I am there for them the same way, and it really does go both ways. For most of my life, I had "friends" who I was close to and I could go to when I was struggling, but for whom I could not fill that same place; or the converse. To have friends who care about me and need me and value me the same way that I care about and need and value them - that is priceless to me.

In addition, to address the point that dustfinger raised, they will also sometimes tell me things I don't want to hear when it is right and proper for me to hear them. Sometimes I need a friend who can gently but firmly redirect me, with sensitivity and love but also with strength. Once in awhile I need someone to love me so much that they will threaten me with blackmail to get me to do what's best for me. (Yes, this has actually happened.)

These are the friends I hope to have for the rest of my life.