Prayers for Bobby: Mrs. Griffith's Answer

Another Frum Gay Jew mentioned the film "Prayers for Bobby" in his blogpost. Therefore, I watched it this morning. It reminded me of Harold Kushner's book When Bad Things Happen To Good People. He surmises that there's an evil force outside of God that God can't control and that's why bad happens. Similarly, Bobby's mother decides that if God didn't cure her son and make him not gay, it must be that's because it's not wrong to be gay. (I will add the caveat, which should be clear, that Judaism does not permit the homosexual act, but does not forbid the feeling, and so differs from her statement.)

As for me, my understanding is that found in Isaiah 45:7- ז יוֹצֵר אוֹר וּבוֹרֵא חֹשֶׁךְ, עֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם וּבוֹרֵא רָע; אֲנִי יְהוָה, עֹשֶׂה כָל-אֵלֶּה. {פ} 7 I form the light, and create darkness; I make peace, and create evil; I am the LORD, that doeth all these things. {P}

Evil, challenge, darkness, suffering...all come from God as well.

Arguments based on emotion, while heartwrenching, don't prove points. There are a lot of distinctions between the presentation of Presbyterian religion in the film and Orthodox Judaism. In contrast to Presbyterianism, we have an Oral Law which clarifies and explicates laws. So while she may be persuaded by the argument that 'children who are disobedient are supposed to be stoned to death' and we don't interpret words that way anymore, a religious Jew wouldn't be. Also, while she may state that love and compassion is what it's all about in terms of her religion, that's not the bottom line in ours, even though it certainly plays a major role.

So in terms of the point the film is trying to make, I'm reminded of Isaiah 5:20-onward:

כ הוֹי הָאֹמְרִים לָרַע טוֹב, וְלַטּוֹב רָע: שָׂמִים חֹשֶׁךְ לְאוֹר וְאוֹר לְחֹשֶׁךְ, שָׂמִים מַר לְמָתוֹק וּמָתוֹק לְמָר. {ס}	20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that change darkness into light, and light into darkness; that change bitter into sweet, and sweet into bitter! {S}
כא הוֹי, חֲכָמִים בְּעֵינֵיהֶם; וְנֶגֶד פְּנֵיהֶם, נְבֹנִים. {ס}	21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! {S}
כב הוֹי, גִּבּוֹרִים לִשְׁתּוֹת יָיִן; וְאַנְשֵׁי-חַיִל, לִמְסֹךְ שֵׁכָר.	22 Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink;
כג מַצְדִּיקֵי רָשָׁע, עֵקֶב שֹׁחַד; וְצִדְקַת צַדִּיקִים, יָסִירוּ מִמֶּנּוּ. {פ}	23 That justify the wicked for a reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him! {P}

And because I need to make everything eminently clear: no, I do not mean to suggest people who are attracted to other men are wicked or evil. But I think that people who use the justification, "Religion is difficult and hurts people; therefore, it's not true" fail to realize that how one emotionally feels about something has nothing to do with the veracity of it.

Having stated all that: You don't have a heart if you don't cry when you watch this film. But then again, I was the first girl in the theaters to see "Brokeback Mountain" and I cried at that, too. And at "Trembling Before God." This stuff kills me. I know you will find that surprising, those of you who find me alternatively odious, morally repugnant, homophobic, bigoted, backwards, living in the dark ages, and I don't remember all the other labels you've given me. How can something emotionally kill you but you intellectually live by it anyway?

Welcome to my life.