The Rabbi of my shul, Rabbi Gershon Schaffel, decided to create a fantastic program which I think everyone could vastly benefit from. Since there are 21 days in this month, he has decided to study the 21 pesukim of Shema through a podcast. Each podcast will take A MERE FIVE MINUTES. Everyone can spare five minutes a day for Torah! The way the podcast is structured is like so: First, my father reads the pasuk with correct Ashkenazi pronounciation, then R' Schaffel speaks about the pasuk, then Steve Goldfarb reads the pasuk with correct Sephardi pronounciation.
I am going to link the podcast episodes here, and, if possible, write down what R' Schaffel said so that we can all learn together. As usual, any and all mistakes are mine.
This will be linked on my sidebar for easy access.
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1. Day 1
The simple translation of the pasuk is 'Hear O' Israel, Hashem is Our God. Hashem is One.' Let us now endeavor to try and understand the deeper meaning of this pasuk. The term 'Shema' doesn't merely refer to the act of hearing. The term also includes an understanding of the concepts that are presented. R' Shimon Schwab in his commentary to the siddur takes it one step further and explains that it is not sufficient for a person to hear and understand the message of Shema, but one must make sure that the upcoming message is never forgotten. The declaration of Hashem's unity is preceded with the phrase 'Shema Yisrael.' R' Yehuda Leib Chasman wonders why it is necessary to address the Jewish nation as an introduction to Shema. Seemingly, emunah in Hashem is a personal matter! It has nothing to do with the rest of the nation. He answers by noting that the Torah was given to the nation, not to the individual. This means that every member of Kelal Yisrael is responsible for every other member's belief in Hashem! Therefore, emunah's not the personal matter as we initially thought; it is one that is important to the entire nation, a collective responsibility. As an expression of that understanding, we preface our statement of belief with a call to the entire nation of Israel.
'Hashem Elokeinu.' The term 'Elokim' always refers to Hashem as the one who is in control of the world and nature. The nations of the world have an angel that is directly responsible to oversee their wellbeing. The phrase 'Hashem Elokeinu,' 'Hashem, Our God,' explains the Netziv, indicates that unlikes other nations, Hashem Our God is the one who personally oversees the wellbeing of Kelal Yisrael and does not assign an angel for that task. The Sifri looks at the phrase 'Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad' and finds a redundancy. Why is the phrase 'Hashem Elokeinu' necessary if we are going to declare 'Hashem Echad?' The Medrish answers that His name is called on us more than the other nations. R' Moshe Nezhara offers two beautiful explanations on the intent of this Medrish. He explains that although Divine Providence reaches the other nations, as expressed with the phrase 'Hashem Echad,' 'Hashem is One,' nonetheless Divine Providence reaches Bnei Yisrael in a more concentrated, direct fashion. And that is the additional emphasis of the phrase Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem is our God. Alternatively, although 'Bayom Hahu,' on that day in the future when Mashiach comes, all the nations will recognize Hashem Echad, Hashem is One, in the present it is only Bnei Yisrael who recognizes His authority and His dominion and thus we emphasize Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem is our God today, even though in the future it will be Hashem Echad and Hashem's unity will be universally recognized.
R' Yisrael Salanter is famous for reminding people that when they declare 'Hashem Echad,' 'Hashem is One,' and they meditate on the fact that Hashem's unity encompasses the entire universe, including the seven heavens and the four corners of the world, they should not overlook declaring Hashem's unity over the most important part of the universe- themselves. The gematria, numerical value, of the word 'echad,' alef, ches, daled, is 13. Rabbeinu Bachya points out in Parsha Breishis the term 'gan' for garden appears 13 times and similarly in Parshas Ve'eschanan, in the description of Matan Torah, the giving of the Torah, the word 'eish' also appears 13 times. This teaches us that one who has proper intent in declaring Hashem's unity will be saved from the fire of Gehennim and will merit the 13 levels of Gan Eden. Lastly, the ayin of the word Shema and the daled of the word Echad are written with larger letters. Those letters spell the word 'eid,' witness, to indicate that we are to be witnesses to the two principles expressed in the pasuk, 1) Hashem's unity and 2) His unique and close relationship with Bnei Yisrael.
2. Day 2
The simple translation of today's phrase is 'Blessed is the name of His honorable kingdom for all eternity.' Let us delve deeper into the meaning of this phrase. The word 'sheim' as in the phrase 'blessed is the name' is the way in which we capture something in a word. The Biblical name of anything is a spiritual description of that item. The term malchus, kingdom, refers to the way in which Hashem's kingdom is perceived. If the presence of the kingdom is not felt in the land, it is worthless. The strength and power of a kingdom is measured by the degree it is felt by the citizens of the land. Thus, the meaning of the phrase is 'Blessed is the name,' meaning we bless our perception of Hashem, of His honorable kingdom, referring to the closeness we feel to His kingdom, for all eternity.
This phrase is not a pasuk in Tanakh. And the Avudraham quotes two different accounts in Chazal for the origin of this declaration. According to the Medrish, when Moshe Rabbeinu ascended to the Heavens, he heard the angels recite this praise of Hashem and he stole it from them and taught it to Bnei Yisrael. Since it was stolen, he instructed them not to recite the declaration out loud so as to not draw attention to the stolen phrase. This is why, throughout the year, when we recite Kriyas Shema, we say the phrase 'Baruch Shem Kevod' quietly. On Yom Kippur however, we make the declaration out loud since on that day we are like Melachim, like the angels themselves. The second account of this phrase is found in the Gemara in Pesachim. The Gemara relates that when Yaakov was on his deathbed he wanted to share with his children what would happen to them at the End of Days. At that precise moment, the Shechina, the Divine Presence, left him and he was suspicious that this was an indication that one of his children would not remain loyal to Hashem. When he verbalized this concern to his children, the twelve tribes, they put his mind at ease by making the declaration: Shema Yisrael, Hear, our father Israel, Hashem Echad, Hashem is our God and he is One and we are going to remain as loyal to Hashem as you were throughout your lifetime. As an expression of apprecation to Hashem that his children would remain loyal, Yaakov made the declaration 'Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso L'Olam Va'ed' - blessed is the name of his honorable kingdom for all eternity.
R' Chaim Soloveitchik is quoted as citing the pasuk 'ki shem hashem ekra, havu godel elokeinu'- 'when I call Hashem's name, ascribe greatness to Hashem,' as the reason to say Baruch Shem Kevod after the pasuk of Shema. Meaning, after they make the declaration and call his name with the phrase 'Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad,' 'Hashem is Our God, Hashem is One,' at that moment, we have the obligation to ascribe greatness to His name and we do that with the declaration 'Baruch Shem Kvod.' Accordingly, the explanation offered by the Gemara in Pesachim regarding the origin of this pasuk is really addressing a different question than where the pasuk came from. What the Gemara is answering is why the phrase 'Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso' appears immediately after Shema rather than putting it at the end of the paragraph 'V'ahavta.' That, the Gemara says, is the connection between Shema and Baruch Sheim. I think the significance of this can be explained in light of a comment by R' Shimshon David Pincus. He discusses the clarity of truth that a person achieves when he contemplates the words of Shema. When the impact of those concepts becomes clear, we are overwhelmed by the fact that the rest of the world has not yet been privileged to see these truths. Therefore we daven 'Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso' for all of the other nations to also achieve a clarity of belief in Hashem, recognizing His Malchus, His Kingdom, l'olam va'ed, for all of eternity. In this regard, the declaration of 'Baruch Shem Kevod' is more dear than even the declaration 'Shema Yisrael.' Shema Yisrael is a declaration of absolute truth of Hashem's existence but that is not the intended goal of Keriyas Shema. The intent is that we should incorporate these principles into our lives. R' Pincus compares this to a parent who asks his/her child for a cup of water and the child prepares a cup of tea. With this action, the child demonstrates the love he/she has for the parent. So too, our obligation is only to recite Shema Yisrael. But the extra declaration of Baruch Shem is something that we become inspired to do on our own, and that is why it is so precious to Hashem.
3. Day 3
Simple translation of today's pasuk is: And you should love Hashem, Your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all of your posessions. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. Rashi explains that the command of the pasuk, V'ahavta, and you should love, means and you should perform mitzvos lovingly. The Gemara in Yuma writes that the pasuk instructs us to behave in a way that leads people to love Hashem. We are to be so honest, so just and so upright in our behavior that people will wonder our motivation for behaving in such an honest fashion. And when they find out that it is the instruction and guidelines of the Torah, this will lead them to also become ones who love Hashem. Many commentators wonder how the Torah could command us to feel the emotion of love to Hashem. Either I love Hashem, or I don't! But the command seems to be completely out of place. The Sfas Emes responds that the question is itself the answer. The Torah is informing us that the nature of a Jew is to love Hashem just as a child naturally loves a parent. It's true that there are times when this is difficult and that love might be buried deep beneath the surface, but it is always there and it is our job to figure out how to uncover and feel that love. In response to the same question, R' Akiva Eiger suggests that the answer is found in the bracha in Shema. That bracha concludes with the words 'ha-bocher b'amo Yisrael b'ahava.' Hashem who chose His nation of Israel with love. When a Jew realizes that Hashem loves him, it is only natural to love Hashem back. Like the pasuk says, 'K'mayim panim el panim, kein leiv ha'Adam.' Just like water reflects a person's image, so too a person's heart reflects the love that s/he is shown. This love, the Torah says, must be b'chol levavcha- with all your heart. The gemara in Brachos explains this to refer to "shnei yitzrecha"- both inclinations. The good inclination, the yetzer hatov and the bad inclination, the yetzer hara. Talmidim of Rabbeinu Yonah explain that the yetzer hatov relates to the performance of mitzvos whereas the yetzer ha'ra refers to overcoming the urge to sin. Employing both traits is the ideal. R' Yisrael Salanter elaborates on this and explains that one who serves Hashem with the yetzer ha-tov may still possess character traits that require attention and improvement. At this level, one uses his intellect and broad perspective of life to refrain from acting out those sinful impulses. Loving Hashem with one's yetzer ha-ra is a higher level where one is capable of redirecting and channelling the negative traits into positive ones that serve to further enhance one's service of Hashem. The pasuk further explains that one's love of Hashem must also be b'chol nafshecha u'bchol m'odecha: with all one's soul and with all one's resources. The gemara in Brachos explains that b'chol nafshecha obligates a person to be willing to give up their life out of love of Hashem. This reminds us of the story in Chazal of Rabbi Akiva, who at the moment that he was being tortured to death was seen by his students accepting upon himself Hashem's kingdom. His students were aghast. !Even now, at your moment of death?" In a great of display of calm and presence of mind, in the midst of the horror of his own death, he replied that this was what I always thought about when I recited this pasuk- a willingness to even give up my life out of love of Hashem. And now, I shouldn't fulfill it?
B'chol meodecha, the Gemara says, refers to the necessity to give up one's posessions in service of Hashem. Maharal points out that the Torah expects us to display our love of Hashem in 3 ways-
1. B'chol levavcha: With our bodies
2. B'chol nafshecha: With our souls
3. B'chol meodecha: With all of our posessions
encompassing our entire being.
4. Day 4
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And these matters which I command you today should be on your heart. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. Rashi quotes the Midrash which connects this pasuk to the previous pasuk which says 'V'ahavta es Hashem elokecha,' and you should love Hashem your God. How does a person develop ahavas Hashem, love of Hashem? The answer, the Midrash says, is today's pasuk: vehayu ha'devarim ha'eila. When we take Hashem's Torah and put it into our hearts, we develop a love of Hashem.
R' Chaim HaKadosh explains: That love is not something that one could force another to feel or sense. Therefore, one who does not yet feel love of Hashem or someone who seeks to deepen and strengthen their love of Hashem has but one thing to do. Vehayu ha'devarim ha'eilah: pursue the study of Torah. Allow the words of Torah to penetrate your heart and that will lead to ahavas Hashem, love of Hashem.
R' Elazar from Kozhnitz points out an interesting choice of words in the pasuk. The pasuk says that the words of Hashem should be 'al levavecha' which literally means 'on your heart.' Contrast this with the pasuk we say in Aleinu- 'v'yadata hayom v'ha'shevoisa el levavecha'- 'you should know today and take to your heart.' El Levavecha, the pasuk from Aleinu, sounds like something taken into your heart, whereas al levavecha sounds as though the message is to remain superficial- on the heart but not to enter into the heart! R' Elazar from Kozhnitz answers that there are difficult times in our lives where we are incapable of transferring spiritual, ethereal concepts into our hearts. That does not mean that our attempts to put things into our hearts is gone; during difficult times, we can put things on to our hearts. When the time comes for Hashem's mercy to open our hearts, all the Torah that has been waiting on the outside will finally be able to penetrate and have its desired effect.
The Alshich connects today's pasuk to the next pasuk which states 'V'shinantam l'vanecha,' and you should teach them to your children. Every Jewish parent dreams that their children should be connected to and have a love of Torah. The question we ask is: how do we succeed at teaching our children this lesson? The Torah itself tells us 'v'hayu hadevarim ha'eila'-take the words of Torah and place them on your heart. Once you, the parent, have succeeded in putting a love of Torah into your own heart, you are then prepared for 'v'shinantem l'vanecha,' teaching them to your children.
R' Shimon Schwab in his commentary to the Siddur emphasized the simple meaning of this pasuk. V'hayu ha'devarim ha'eila- take these words, the words of Torah- that I, Hashem, or that Hashem, b'chvodo v'atzmo, that Hashem personally, with all of His honor and glory, commands to you. The word is not in the plural speaking to the nation. It is in the singular form- metzvecha to emphasize that Hashem addresses each and every one of us personally hayom- today. Each and every day Hashem addresses us directly and gives us the message of loving Hashem and studying His Torah. R' Schwab goes on to relate the conversation he had with someone who was not Orthodox who claimed he had followed the tradition of Judaism the same as those who are Orthodox. R' Schwab gave an astounding response. He told his friend that he does not do mitzvos because his ancestors performed the mitzvos. "It's true," R' Schwab said, "that I take great pride in the fact that my ancestors going back to Har Sinai fulfilled the Torah but that is not the reason why I fulfill mitzvos. The reason why I fulfill mitzvos," R' Schwab taught his astonished friends, "is because Hashem commanded me personally today to observe the Torah." That is the significance of the phrase, 'asher anochi metzavecha hayom' - that which I command today.
5. Day 5
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And you should teach them, referring to the Torah, diligently to your children. And you should speak of them while you sit in your house, and as you walk on the way, and as you lay down and as you rise. Let us now delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk.
The phrase 'v'shinantem l'vanecha,' and you should teach them diligently to your children, the gemara in Kiddushin explains, means that the words of Torah should be sharp in one's mouth. Meaning, one should be fluent in the words of Torah that one studies. The etymology of the word is from the word 'shana' which means repetition. The word is also used to refer to the sharpness of an arrow or a knife. These are not two separate explanations; rather, an arrow or knife is sharpened by the repeated action of rubbing an arrow on a whetstone. Similarly, fluency in Torah is achieved when one reviews the material many times. Review of one's Torah studies has a second benefit, namely, it allows the words, ideas and inspiration to remain fresh in one's mind rather than become faint and fall into the unconscious part of one's mind. The gemara in Yuma presents two explanations of the phrase v'dibarta bam, and you should speak in them. One explanation is: bam yesh lecha reshus l'daber v'lo b'torah acheirim. One has permission to speak in Torah but not in other matters. This strict interpretation indicates that one may not talk about matters that are not Torah-related. The second explanation of the phrase is 'asei osam teva v'al ta'asei osam arai.' Make them fixed and primary in your life rather than a temporary, secondary activity or a mere hobby. This implies that other conversations are permitted but one must be certain that the Torah conversations are primary. Is it permitted to discuss other matters or not? The Sefer Maalos HaTorah answers that both are correct and it depends on one's activity. While studying Torah, one should strive to fulfill the first interpretation, to limit oneself to only Torah conversation. This is similar to the mishna in Pirkei Avos that criticizes one who interrupts his learning to comment on a beautiful tree. The second interpretation applies when one is involved in other activities. B'shivtecha b'veisecha u'velechtecha baderech u'bshantecha u'vkumecha. When one is sitting in their home, walking on their way, going down to sleep or rising in the morning, even when one is engaged in other activities, one must mantain the perspective that Torah is still primary.
The Vilna Gaon is cited as noting that the word 'bam' of the phrase 'vedibarta bam' is written with a beis in the mem. The beis alludes to Torah She'Bksav, the Written Torah, which begins with the letter Beis - the phrase 'Bereishis Barah.' The mem refers to the Oral Law, Torah She'Baal Peh, which begins with the letter mem in the first mishna in Shaas- me'amaisai karim l'shma? The phrase u'vishevtecha b'veisecha u'velechtecha baderech, when you sit in your house and walk on your way, represents the obligation to study Torah in the two extreme circumstances. Sitting in one's house represents a place of serenity, removed from the business of the world. Traveling on the way is when one is besieged with distractions. Both circumstances can lead a person away from the study of Torah. Therefore, the Torah emphasizes the necessity to study even in those circumstances and obviously at every point in between. Some of the Baalei Mussar, Teachers of Ethics, write that the word 'b'veisecha' -in your house, does not refer to the physical structure of one's house, the bricks and mortar; rather, it refers to the way one runs his/her household. A person should strive to include Torah in all of one's regular and mundane activities. Finally, the words b'shachbecha u'vekumecha, when you lay down and when you rise, also represent the obligation to study at two ends of the spectrum. When a person lays down to go to sleep, s/he is tired and weary from a long, exhausting day. When a person rises, s/he is filled with energy and excitement for the new day. In both circumstances, in both conditions, one must think about and discuss Torah-related matters.
6. Day 6
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And you should bind them on your hands and they should be 'totafos' between your eyes. The term 'totafos' is a word that refers to Tefillin but is difficult to translate. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk.
The Alshich explains that the paragraph of V'ahavta has already emphasized the importance of thinking about and speaking words of Torah, and in this pasuk there is an additional emphasis on the importance of maaseh, action. The verb of the pasuk, 'u'keshartem,' and you should bind them, is a symbolic act of putting theory into practice. In this regard, the mitzvah of Tefillin is a model that reminds us of our obligation to take all the Torah that we study and translate it into our behavior. One reason Tefilin is placed on the arm and between the eyes is explained by R' Menachem ben Aaron ben Zaruch, a fourteenth-century scholar, who lived in France and Spain. In his work on the siddur, called Tzeida L'Derech, he explains that Tefillin are placed on the arm because the hand represents a person's actions. The command of Tefillin is that we should place a reminder of Yetzias Mitzrayim, the Exodus from Egypt, on our hand to be reminded that all one's activities should be l'sheim Shamayim, for the sake of heaven. The second part of one's Tefillin are placed on the head between the eyes to serve as a reminder that one must be careful not to follow all that glitters is gold and be led to sin by one's eyes. He also mentions that the Tefillin on the arm which are near the heart and on one's head, which are near the eyes, represent the two sources of sin. The Tefillin on the arm are placed near the heart to serve to protect from sins related to emunah, belief in Hashem, which is housed in one heart. The Tefillin worn near one's eyes represent the sins that involve some sort of physical pleasure and the combination of the two is to protect us from all categories of sin.
The Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Monsey makes an interesting observation concerning the order of the pasuk. Regarding the Tefillin that one wears on one's head, we are told: V'ro kol amei ha'aretz ki shem Hashem nikra alecha. And the nations of the land will see that Hashem's name is called upon you. Regarding Tefillin worn on the hand, we are taught that it serves to subjugate our physical desires. The fact that the Torah instructs us regarding the hand Tefillin before the head Tefillin teaches that before we go out to improve, elevate and uplift the nations of the world as a light unto the nations, we must first become masters over ourselves. Furthermore, one who tries to reverse the order is certainly doomed to failure.
The word 'Totafos' as mentioned, is difficult to explain. Some commentators understand it to be related to the word 'netifos' found in Sefer Yeshayahu which refers to a type of adornment. In other words, Tefillin are a badge of distinction in addition to serving as an 'os,' reminder of the earlier-mentioned concepts as a tangible sign of the connection between the Jewish people and Hashem. This idea that Tefillin binds us and establishes a connection between us and Hashem explains the halakhic requirement to have a clean body when wearing Tefillin which does not apply to the same degree by other mitzvos. Since Tefillin have the unique capacity to bind us to Hashem, we are held to a higher standard. It is specifically the bind between us and Hashem represented by the Tefillin that the other nations will notice and cause them to realize that Hashem's name is called upon us.
7. Day 7
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And you should write them on the doorposts of your house and of your gates. This is the mitzvah to write the first two paragraphs of Shema onto parchment and affix them to one's doorpost. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk.
The simple thought behind the mitzvah of Mezuzah is offered by the commentary to the siddur Tzeida L'Derech where he writes the purpose of the mitzvah is to remind the person, when he leaves and when he returns of 1) the yoke of Heaven as expressed in the first paragraph of Shema and 2) the yoke of mitzvos as expressed in the second paragraph of Shema. Another thought related to Mezuza is found in the Alshich. He observes that when a person is alone it is more difficult for that person to succeed over his yetzer hara and resist the temptations that come his/her way. This was the concern of R' Yochanan ben Zakkai, who when asked by his students to bless them, said, "Yehi ratzon she'tihiyeh moreh yiras shamayim aleichem k'mayim basar v'dam." May it be the will of Hashem that your fear of Heaven should be like your fear of mankind. When asked by his students to elaborate, he explained that when people sin their concern is that a friend or perhaps a loved one will see them and do they not express concern that Hashem will see them. Therefore, R' Yochanan ben Zakkai blessed his students to fear heaven to the same degree that they fear their fellow man. Out of concern for this tendency, Hashem commanded us to put a mezuzah on our doorposts so that when we go in and out, but primarily derech biascha- when we go in- we should remain cognizant of the fact that we are not alone and that awareness can serve to protect us from the temptation of sin.
In the commentary Iyun Tefilah, found in the Otzer HaTefilos siddur, he writes that the mezuzah is a siman, a reminder that all of a person's posessions are Hashem's and it is out of His kindness that He shares them with us. Moreover, like food, it is prohibited to benefit from Hashem's property without first giving thanks to Hashem. The reason the reminder is affixed to a person's home is because one's real estate is the most enduring of a person's possessions and this best serves as the vehicle of this reminder. He also emphasizes that a person should not mistakenly believe that the purpose of the mezuzah is to protect one's home from harmful spirits. He describes this belief as a 'ta'us gedolah,' a great error. The mezuzah is not an amulet of sorts that has supernatural powers. It is one of the mitzvos of Hashem, whose purpose is to remind the person that he should be cautious of committing a sin. It is not a homeowner's insurance policy to protect one's home from harm. Although it is true that the mezuzah does protect one's home, it does so not due to something special about this particular mitzvah, but rather it has the same power as any other mitzvah which protects those who fulfill that mitzvah from harm.
As we conclude now the first parsha of Shema, it is important to point out that many commentators take note that the first paragraph of Shema, which begins with the pasuk of Shema and V'ahavta is written in the singular form whereas the second paragraph of Shema that we begin to study tomorrow, im yirtzeh Hashem, begins with the words v'haya im tishmoa yishmeu begins in the plural form. The reason for this is that the first parsha addresses a person's belief in Hashem and those beliefs reside in a person's heart. Consequently, just as it is known that there are no two people that look exactly the same, so too it is impossible to find two people who have exactly the same views, perspectives and thoughts. Therefore, the first parsha of Shema is written in the singular form so that it could speak to each person according to his level of understanding, belief and emotional connection to Hashem.
8. Day 8
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And it shall be, if you listen to the mitzvos that I command you today, to love your God and to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk.
The term 'vehaya,' explains the Sefas Emes, always connotes simcha, or joy. Accordingly, in our pasuk, the meaning is that in proportion to the amount of simcha one has in fulfilling a mitzvah, the degree one merits to understand the depth of that mitzva. The phrase 'im shamoa tishmeu l'mitzvosei' is a curious phrase. The emphasis is not on the performance of mitzvos but on hearing the mitzvos. A person does not have control over circumstances and whether the mitzvos will be fulfilled but a person does have control over the ability to listen well. The double expression 'shamoa tishmeu' stresses the importance of hearing and understanding the mitzvah as well. Some commentators take note of the choice of term 'anochi' rather than 'ani.' They explain that the term 'anochi' is a stronger term and it is reminiscent of the most famous 'anochi' of all, that of 'Anochi Hashem Elokecha,' the word that begins the Aseres HaDibros. The pasuk teaches that the purpose in doing mitzvos is: l'ahava es hashem elokeichem, to love Hashem your God and u'lavdo, to serve Him. This expresses two different dimensions of the relationship with Hashem. One dimension is a love we are to have for Hashem. The love that we refer to is love that emanates from our appreciation of the relationship we have with him as Hashem Elokeichem, Hashem Your God. The second dimension of the relationship is that we are slaves to Hashem, obligated to serve Him as expressed in the phrase u'lavdo b'kol levavechem u'vchol nafshechem. This dimension instills in us a humility, a necessary trait to speak to Hashem in prayer. Many commentators wonder what this pasuk which instructs us to love Hashem adds that it did not know from the previous paragraph, which also instructs, 'v'ahavta es Hashem elokecha,' and you should love Hashem, Your God. Based on the gemara in Taanis, R' Chaim Volozhin explains that the previous paragraph of Shema emphasizes love of Hashem in genearl whereas our paragraph emphasizes specifically avodah she'beleiv, service of the heart, which is Tefillah. This leads to an interesting observation from R' Shimon Schwab. The concept of davening is not just avodah she'beleiv is relatively familiar. What is the meaning of the continuation of the pasuk that demands service of Hashem b'kol nafshechem, all of our souls? He answers that there are in fact two types of prayer: 1) Tefilla B'Leiv- Prayer in one's heart and 2) Tefilla B'Nefesh, prayer with one's soul. What is the difference between these two types of prayer? Tefilla B'Leiv, prayer of the heart, refers to those types of prayers that look to our physical or spiritual needs. These are the types of requests found in the middle section of Shemonah Esrei. The second type of prayer, Tefilla B'Nefesh, prayer of the soul. In this category we do not daven for our needs but for Hashem. We yearn that the desecration of Hashem's name that exists should cease, that His name should be glorified and sanctified. It is called Tefilla B'Nefesh since we put aside our needs and focus on Hashem's interests.
The last point related to this idea is that our pasuk, addressing specifically prayer, is written in the plural as opposed to the previous paragraph written in the singular. The reason is that when it comes to prayer, it is important for us to realize that we do not have the merit to stand before Hashem and place before Him our requests. If Avraham Avinu was afer v'efer, nothing more than dirt and ashes, certainly we are even lower. The merit that we have to stand before him is to invoke the power of Tzibur. As a member of the Tzibur, one does not have to rely on his/ her merit but has the support of the whole entire Tzibur.
9. Day 9
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And I shall give the rain of your land in its time, the early yoreh rain and the later malkosh rain; you should gather your grain, your wine and your oil. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk.
Commentators note that the pasuk does not say 'v'nasati metar' and I will give rain- and stop- rather, it says, 'v'nasati metar artzechem'- and I will give the rain of your land. Your land obviously refers to Eretz Yisrael. Interestingly, the pasuk before this paragraph states, 'aretz asher Hashem elokecha doresh osa tamid, m'Hashem elokecha ba'- the land which Hashem your God always seeks; the eyes of Hashem your God are always upon it. This emphasizes that rainfall upon Eretz Yisrael is not the result of nature; it is a result of divine decree as befitting the holy land. This principle is further accentuated when the pasuk goes on to say 'b'ito yoreh u'malkosh,' in its time the early yoreh rain and the later malkosh rain. The emphasis that the rain will fall in its time indicates that the rain won't fall randomly, as it does in other places; rather, it will fall at appropriate times. This means, according to Chazal, that the rain will fall at night rather than during the day, it will be disruptive to daily life. Furthermore, the needs of the ground at the beginning of the rainy season is different from the needs of the ground at the end of the rainy season, into the spring. The pasuk is telling us when we do the mitzvos, each rainfall will be appropriate and beneficial to its time.
We mentioned yesterday that the paragraph of 'v'haya im shamoa' is in the plural addressing the nation. What's interesting is that in today's pasuk the Torah switches from plural to singular. The pasuk begins with the phrase, 'v'nasati metar artzechen,' and I shall give the rain of your land- the term artzechem, your land- is in the plural. It then continues to state 'v'asafta degancha tiroshecha' - and you shall gather your grain, your wine and your oil. All the words in this phrase are singular. Furthermore, in the other pesukim, the paragraph returns to plural. Why? Alshich suggests that the Torah does its wording carefully to convey important principles. When addressing the issue of hearing about the mitzvos and its fulfillment, the Torah uses plural language based on the principle 'b'rov am hadrus melech,' in the multitudes of the nation is the glory of the King. When discussing the reward in store for those who listen to the mitzvos, the Torah utilizes the singular form because individuals do not receive the same reward. Each individual is reward l'fum tzara agra, in proportion to the effort and difficulty that he/she faced when doing a mitzvah and although the pasuk says 'v'nasati metar artzechem,' and I will give the rain of your land (in the plural), nonetheless, the same rain will be more beneficial for some and less beneficial for others. Therefore, the pasuk says, 'v'asafta deganecha,' and you will gather your grain to highlight the fact that whatever each individual gathers from his field is a portion designated for him by divine decree.
The philosophical difficulty with this pasuk is that the gemara in Kiddushin states, 'sechar mitzvah v'hay alma lekin,'- there is no reward for mitzvos in this world. The reward for mitzvos is infinite. It is not possible to give an infinite reward in this finite world. How then are we supposed to understand our pasuk that promises rain for the performance of mitzvos? Rambam answers that the promise of reward in our pasuk does not represent the infinite reward for mitzvos; rather it is a reward that is given as encouragement to the individual to continue in his avodas Hashem. This is also the meaning of the mishna in Pirkei Avos that states 'mitzvah goreres mitzvah'- one mitzvah leads to another, and 'sechar mitzvah, mitzvah,' the reward for one mitzvah is another. Success serves to faciliate the individual's progress in service of Hashem.
10. Day 10
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And I shall give grass in your field for your animals and you shall eat and be satisfied. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. The pasuk doesn't merely assure that when compliant with the Torah we will be blessed to su ch a degree that 'venasati eisev,' we will have an abundance of grass to share with our animals. Rather, the pasuk also promises that 'venasati eisev b'sadecha' - the grass will be available in your field. Rashi explains that the blessing that there will be unecessary to go into the wilderness to obtain food for one's animals; it will be available nearby in your very own field.
The next word of the pasuk, livhemtecha, to your animals, adds an additional dimension to the bracha. The grass that Hashem promises to provide will be designated exclusively for your animals. And other animals, whether wild or owned by others, will not come to pasture on your property and take away the food that is designated for your animals.
The words 'v'achalta v'savata'- and you shall eat and be satisfied- also emphasizes another aspect of the bracha Hashem is promising for devout commitment to Torah. The words indicate that as soon as one eats, he'll be satisfied meaning the food will be endowed with the special capacity to make a person full so it's unecessary to eat in excess. Commentators note that this last phrase of the pasuk is seemingly out of order. In the previous pasuk, the Torah promised us the brachos of rain that will bring an abundance of grain, wine and oil. The end of that pasuk should have concluded with the words 'v'achalta v'savata'- you will eat and be satisfied. Instead, the Torah interrupts the discussion of the blessing that provides for our abundance and tells us of the blessing that provides for our animals. Why does the Torah present these thoughts in this fashion?
One explanation is offered in the Eitz Yosef commentary to the Otzer HaTefilos siddur. He suggests that both pesukim are focused on the bracha that is coming to Bnei Yisrael. The reason the pasuk mentions animals is because animals play an integral part in the production of grain, wine and oil. There are many steps in the agricultural process that rely heavily upon the strength of animals. therefore, the Torah tells us that since it is necessary to have healthy, well-fed animals to do all of that difficult work, Hashem will provide plentiful supply of grass for the an imals so that they can assist in making the field productive. When Chazal looked at the unusual presentation of concepts, they saw a hint to the halakha that requires a person to feed his animals before feeding himself.
An interesting contrast between this pasuk and the previous pasuk is that in our pasuk, the emphasis is that Hashem is the one who puts the grass in the field for the animals. 'Venasati eisev b'sadcha'- as opposed to the previous pasuk wh ich tells us that Hashem will provide rain- 'venasati metar artzechem' - but does not mention anything about Hashem providing the grain, wine and oil. The reason relates back to the sin of Gan Eden where Adam and Chava ate from teh forbidden tree. One of the curses that resulted from that sin was 'b'zeis apecha to'chalecha' - by the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread. The design of the world was that man's needs would be provided not only in abundance, but without effort, as we see the animals experience. Animals do not have to work the land in order to eat. Each species has food and nourishment that is available. Not only is it available but Hashem designed the grass of the field in such a way that it spreads by itself- so the animal can move from one pasture to another and then back again. Mankind, however, suffers from the sin of Adam HaRishon and as a result Hashem provides the rain but it is our job to do the work to make the land productive so that our nutritional needs are fulfilled.
11. Day 11
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: Guard yourselves, lest your heart become foolish and you will turn away and you will serve other gods and you will bow down to them. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. Rashi sees a connection with today's pasuk that turns against turning away from Hashem to other gods and the end of yesterday's pasuk. Yesterday's pasuk concludes with the words 'v'achalta v'savata,' - you shall eat and be satisfied. The concern of the Torah is that 'keivan tihiyu ochlim u'sevayim, hishamru lachem'- once you will be eating and full, 'hishamru lachem,' guard yourselves, because at that exact moment a person is at risk at moving away from Hashem, 'she'ain adam moreid neged Hakadosh Baruch Hu, ela mi'toch seviya,'- a person doesn't rebel against Hashem except as a result of being sated. Some commentators understand the word 'yifteh' to mean 'to be seduced.' In other words, one should not be seduced away from Hashem towards other gods. Others understand the term to be related to 'pesi,' meaning fool, like in the pasuk 'Toras Hashem Temimah' which concludes with the phrase, 'machkimas pesi'- it makes the foolish wise. In other words, one must not be foolish and allow his/her material success to believe their material success is due to their own wisdom, acumen or skill. One must believe it is a blessing from Hashem to provide encouragement in one's service of Hashem.
The term 'vesartem' and you will turn away, indicates a step away from Hashem, but not quite far enough that one is worshipping other gods, which is mentioned in the next phrase, 'v'avadetem elohim acheirim.' Rashi explains that the first step away from Hashem and towards worship of idols occurs when one separates from the Torah. The inevitable result of one who separates from Torah is that he is led to idolatry. 'She'keivan she'adam poreish me'Torah'- once a person separates himself from Torah, says Rashi, 'holech u'medabek b'avodah zarah,' he will go and attach himself to idolatry. Although the person's arrogance should have only taken him away from Hashem, he becomes foolish enough to adopt the ways of idolaters that he knows has no merit. This idea is expressed later in Parshas Re'eh, where the Torah tells us that people led astray will declare: Eicha ya'avdu hagoyim ha'eila- how do these nations serve their gods- v'eseh kein gam ani- and even I will do the same?
Some commentators understand the pasuk as referring to a person who believes in Hashem and is willing to perform the mitzvos and avoid transgressing them. The person in this pasuk is one who foolishly believes that worship of Hashem can be performed without Torah study as part of their commitment. It is specifically the commitment to Torah study which makes Judaism unique. Torah study is not just for the scholars; it is our belief that everyone must engage in Torah since it is through the study of Hashem's Torah that you have the opportunity to interact with Divine wisdom. True Judaism cannot exist without a commitment, however large or small, a podcast to Torah study.
R' Elchanan Wasserman, in the name of his rebbe the Chafetz Chaim, explained a pasuk with the following mashal, parable: If two people of two nations are fighting with one another and one side seems to be overpowering the other, we have no assurance that that side will win the battle. It could happen that the next time the two sides engage, the other side will prove stronger or more skilled at war. The only way to be certain of victory is if one side takes away the weapons and armor of the other. When that occurs there is no hope for the losing side to emerge victorious, since they don't have the resources for victory. So too, as long as we are committed to Torah, we can emerge victorious against our battle with the yetzer hara, no matter how badly we failed. But once we lose our connection to Torah, we lose the invaluable resource necessary for victory.
12. Day 12
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And Hashem's anger will flare up against you and he will shut the heavens and there will be no rain and the ground will not give its produce and you will speedily go lost from the good land which Hashem is giving to you. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. In the Torah's description of Hashem's anger, the Torah says 'vechara af hashem'- and Hashem's anger will be flared up. This name of Hashem, spelled yud-hey-vav-hey, usually signifies the name of Hashem associated with rachamim, mercy, and yet when we turn away from Hashem and follow idolaters' practices, even that name of Hashem, the merciful name, could be kindled into anger. The result of Hashem's anger is that the heavens are shut and there will be no rain. The purpose of Hashem's anger is to lead us back to the point where we began to turn away from Hashem so we could recalibrate our perspectives and realign ourselves with Hashem and His Torah. Therefore, since it was the rain and dthe subsequent bounty that led us to the arrogant belief that it was our wisdom and skill that led us to our prosperity, Hashem shuts the sky and withholds the rain so that we should be reminded of his role in our lives and should not become the fools who think that they will be the cause of their success.
Despite the fact that the Torah says there will be no rain, it is necessary to state that the ground will not give its produce. The reason is because it is possible to irrigate one's field and by doing so one is no longer relying upon the rain to make the ground give its produce. Therefore the Torah assures us that during the time of Hashem's anger, even if we attempt to short-circuit his plans, the ground will not give its produce. Commentators take note of the fact that when Hashem is angry with the Jewish people he uses the heavens and earth to express that anger. It is the very Heaven and Earth that Moshe Rabbeinu calls upon to serve as witnesses to the message that he shares with them at the beginning of Parshas Haazinu that are now called upon to be the agents that lead the people to repent. In addition to the shutting of the heavens and earth, the Torah makes it clear that it will speedily go lost- meaning, sent into exile and banished from Eretz Israel. The pasuk emphasizes that this exile will happen meheira, quickly. Rashi explains that Hashem will seemingly not demonstrate patience - it will be exiled quickly. The reason Hashem will exile us quickly rather than show patience like He did during the generation of the flood is because during the generation of the Flood, there was no one to teach them so that they should know better. In contrast, we have a Torah and teachers and sefarim and even podcasts, so we don't have any excuse why we turn away from Hashem and worship idolatry.
The last idea that is emphasized in the pasuk is that the exile will be from 'ha'aretz ha'tovah asher Hashem nosein lahem'- the good land Hashem is giving you. We are reminded of the fact that the land is good and capable of providing sufficient produce to provide for the entire nation. Furthermore, this good land was given to us by Hashem. Not only was it promised to our ancestors, but when we entered the land in the time of Yehoshua, Hashem gave us the land with great miracles and defeated the mighty kings who were occupying the land at that time. One would expect gratitude in terms of service of Hashem in return for receiving such a mighty land. When we become ungrateful and turn to other gods, Hashem exiles us from that good land so that we should be inspired to repentance.
13. Day 13
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And you should put these words of mine upon your heart and upon your soul, you should bind them as a sign on your hands and as a totafot between your eyes. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. According to some commentators, the pasuk is referring back a couple of pesukim. The Torah warned, Hishamru lachem pen yifteh levavchem-guard yourself lest your heart become foolish. How does one guard oneself lest one's hard becomes foolish? 'Vesamtem devarai al levavchem v'al nafshechem'- and you should put these words of mine upon your heart and upon your soul. When a person takes the word of the Torah and places th em upon one's heart, meaning one's mind or thought and onto one's soul, meaning one's free will and emotions, he or she puts up a barrier of protection from going astray. Other commentators understand today's pasuk as addressing what happens after a person has strayed away from Hashem and now seeks to return. This is based on Rashi's comment that the pasuk is addressing our circumstances after we have been exiled after making our foolish choices to abandon Hashem and serve other gods. Therefore, the Torah teaches that the way we repair the damage that was done and repent is 'vesamtem divarai al levavchem v'al nafshechem'- taking the words of Torah and putting them on your heart and soul. Chazal identify specifically the eyes and the heart as the limbs that lead us to sin. 'Ayin roeh v'lev chomed'- the eye sees and the heart desires- 'v'kli ha'maaseh gomrin' - and the rest of the body merely finishes the aveira. Therefore, when we seek to repair the damage, we begin by first atking the words of Torah onto our hearts and soul to restore our drive for mitzvos. Then we put Tefillin upon our eyes and hands to repair our eyes that saw and our arms that represent the rest of the body that completed the transgression. This process recalibrates our minds back to being a loyal servant of Hashem.
The Gemara in Kiddushin breaks down the word 'vesamtem' into two separate words. 'Sam,' spelled with a samech, meaning medicine, and tam, meaning perfect. This leads to the idea that Torah is a life-giving potion. R' Yitzchak Isaac Chaver connects this expostion with a gemara in Megillah that relates that the letters samech and mem stood miraculously in the Luchos. Both letters have an inside that is not connected to something outside itself. So they similarly floated in midair. This occurrence indicates to us that the Torah, which is a sam hachayim, a life-giving potion, spelled with the same samech and mem, is not confined by the laws of nature. One of the main areas of struggle is whether our intellect will guide our heart or whether our heart will guide our intellect. Regarding the wicked, we are told that their emotions guide their behavior. Thus for example, in the Megila we find, 'Vayomer Haman be'libo'- and Haman said in his heart. He didn't consider or think whether his course of action was correct- he just went with what felt right. In contrast, the righteous use their minds to control their hearts. As we find by Chana, about whom it is written, 'V'Chana medaberes al liba'- and Chana spoke to her heart. She told her heart what to do. Similarly, when we strayed away from Hashem, the pasuk says, 'pen yifteh levavchem,'- lest your heart become foolish. It is when we follow our heart that we make mistakes. Therefore, in our pasuk the Torah says, 'samtem as divarai al levavchem'- you should take these words of Torah and put them upon your heart! Take these words of Torah through one's mind and put them on your heart so that our minds are instructing your heart.
The last phrase of the pasuk instructs us to put Tefilin on our hands and on our eyes. This is a tangible instruction saying that we have taken the words of Torah and placed them on our head, near our heart, to signify that we have surrounded ourselves with the words of Torah.
14. Day 14
The simple translation of today's pasuk is: And you should teach your sons to speak in them when you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you lay down and when you rise. Let us delve deeper into the meaning of the pasuk. The pasuk does not merely obligate parents to teach their children Torah- the obligation is to teach them Torah l'daber bam- to speak in them. Merely transmitting knowledge and information to our children is not sufficient. Our job as parents is to inspire a love for Torah so that whatever they may choose to do professionally, they will continue to have Torah a main component of their conversation.
Some commentators connect today's pasuk with yesterday's pasuk. At the end of yesterday's pasuk, the Torah mentions the mitzva of Tefillin and today's pasuk mentions educating our children. This juxtaposition teaches that just like one who wears Tefillin may not allow his mind to wander from the mitzvah of Tefillin, so too one must be constantly focused on their child's Chinuch. One of the ways this is done is through prayer. A person once approached the Steipler Gaon and asked him when one is no longer responsible to daven for their children. His response was that one never stops davening for the success of his/ her children, then related that he continues to daven that his son should be a Talmid Chacham. The son he referred to was none other than the renowned Torah sage R' Chaim Kanievsky, who at the time of the story was already a well-known accomplished author. If the Steipler felt the need to continue to daven for the success of his son, all the more so should all of us never lose sight of the importance and necessity to daven for the spiritual health of all of our children.
The word 'osam', from the phrase 'velimadetem osam es beneichem'- and you should teach them to your sons, is curious. First of all, it is written without a vav, as though the word says 'atem' meaning you rather than them. Secondly, the word is superfluous altogether. The pasuk could have simply said 'velimadetem es beneichem' and you should teach your sons. This curiosity conveys to us one of the most important principles in Chinuch and educating our children.
Rabbi Tarfon, one of the great scholars of the Mishna, related that he would be surprised if there was anyone in his generation capable of properly rebuking others. Why? Because as soon as a person gives a message of rebuke, the listener responds and says, "Before you point out my faults, why don't you look in the mirror and correct your own faults?" This stresses the importance of living the message one wishes to teach. As parents who seek to teach our children about the importance of Torah study, we must realize that we have to look in the mirror first to assure that we are living by those principles we wish to convey to our children. Thus, the Torah adds the word 'osam'- them - but spells it 'atem'- meaning you, to hint that first we must teach ourselves to live a life of Torah before we can properly and fully transmit those ideals to our children.
The pasuk goes on to say 've'shivtecha b'veisecha u'velechtecha ba'derech u'veshachbecha u'vekumecha- when you sit in your home and when you walk on the way and when you lie down and when you rise.' As we have mentioned before, this paragraph of 've'haya im shamoa' is generally in the plural. Therefore, whenever we find the parsha switch to singular, an explanation is necessary. Commentators offer on this change the same principles we suggested earlier- the way we succeed in transmitting Torah principles to our children is living them ourselves. Thus, the pasuk is speaking to us in stressing the importance of spending our time studying Torah when we are at home, on the way, when we lay down and when we rise. It is not written in the plural as though we were discussing the children.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
In Which Lakewood Is Awesome
So my fabulous cloaking companion got married (that was one of the happiest weddings I ever attended, ever) in Lakewood, which meant that I Q64ed-E trained-139 bussed it out there intrepidly. Walked in (in green Crocs, red toenails and a blue flower dress) to Bais Faiga to encounter the bride's mother, who looked at me and said, "Wait, I know you!"
I told her who I was and she escorted me to the uber-special bathrooms that nobody else knew about so I could change and prettify, which was great. And then I brilliantly managed to get lipstick on the bride's dress when she wanted me to hug her (not that she minded at all, because a) it was a tiny speck b) she was happy to see me and c) she just said B'seder and glowed). But it was the evening part that was best because....
THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE EVER LET ME SLEEP OVER AT THEIR HOUSE.
The mother got her BA in psychology/ special education through some program in Brooklyn named Ita something-or-other and she is going for her Masters in Political Science and is super-smart and interesting. The father is one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest people ever and he learns in Lakewood's BMG (Beis Medrash Govoha) and they are fabulous people. The father had night seder till 10:30 PM and picked me up from Bais Faiga at 10:45 (so I got to stay for the whole wedding!) It worked out perfectly- I went there, slept over, had a party, was introduced to the two adorable children and am marvelling at the amazing chesed of Jews once more. Hurrah for all Jews! And thanks, Daughter of God.
I told her who I was and she escorted me to the uber-special bathrooms that nobody else knew about so I could change and prettify, which was great. And then I brilliantly managed to get lipstick on the bride's dress when she wanted me to hug her (not that she minded at all, because a) it was a tiny speck b) she was happy to see me and c) she just said B'seder and glowed). But it was the evening part that was best because....
THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE EVER LET ME SLEEP OVER AT THEIR HOUSE.
The mother got her BA in psychology/ special education through some program in Brooklyn named Ita something-or-other and she is going for her Masters in Political Science and is super-smart and interesting. The father is one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest people ever and he learns in Lakewood's BMG (Beis Medrash Govoha) and they are fabulous people. The father had night seder till 10:30 PM and picked me up from Bais Faiga at 10:45 (so I got to stay for the whole wedding!) It worked out perfectly- I went there, slept over, had a party, was introduced to the two adorable children and am marvelling at the amazing chesed of Jews once more. Hurrah for all Jews! And thanks, Daughter of God.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Bar-Kamtza and the Wicked Fairy
In the true version of Sleeping Beauty, all the fairies who are invited to Aurora's christening eat their meal off a special gold plate with their name engraved therein. There is one fairy whom the King and Queen forgot to invite, as she lived in a tower and was presumed dead, or at the very least, was forgotten by all. When she arrived at the party unexpectedly, they merely served her off of china dishes, and she did not get her very own golden dish with her name engraved therein. Thus, she felt slighted, and angrily cursed Aurora.
For several years, there was a niggling thought at the back of my head whenever I read this tale...I couldn't quite place what it reminded me of. Then, today, when telling it over, I realized. The true version of Sleeping Beauty reminds me of the tale of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza.
Of course, in that story, a man was deliberately not invited to the party, not simply forgotten because he lived in a tower. And the trouble arose because he was thrown out of the party, not because he was served on china dishes instead of gold ones with his name inscribed therein. But because of this motif (the party oversight) he too curses his host and all the Jews. And thus we end with the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash.
In the Sleeping Beauty fairytale, if not for the fact that there was one good fairy who had refrained from giving her blessing and was able to temper the curse, it would also have worked out badly.
(If I were teaching this course, I'd have people learn the Gemara and compare/ contrast to the true Sleeping Beauty text, then write an essay comparing the two.)
For several years, there was a niggling thought at the back of my head whenever I read this tale...I couldn't quite place what it reminded me of. Then, today, when telling it over, I realized. The true version of Sleeping Beauty reminds me of the tale of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza.
Of course, in that story, a man was deliberately not invited to the party, not simply forgotten because he lived in a tower. And the trouble arose because he was thrown out of the party, not because he was served on china dishes instead of gold ones with his name inscribed therein. But because of this motif (the party oversight) he too curses his host and all the Jews. And thus we end with the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash.
In the Sleeping Beauty fairytale, if not for the fact that there was one good fairy who had refrained from giving her blessing and was able to temper the curse, it would also have worked out badly.
(If I were teaching this course, I'd have people learn the Gemara and compare/ contrast to the true Sleeping Beauty text, then write an essay comparing the two.)
Monday, June 22, 2009
In Which Olly Meets the LaGuardia Superhero: Sean Holian
Brilliantly dubbed (by an Anonymous witty person): My LaGuardian Angel
~
Well folks, today I flew American Airlines flight 382 into LaGuardia. It was a routine flight, all was well, and we disembarked at one of the D gates. Walking nonchalantly towards Baggage Claim, I am separated by a glass partition from those folks who are flying out of LaGuardia to another destination.
Curious, I peered through the glass.
And who should I see but the mystery TSA worker? That amazing man who ran all the way across an airport and boarded my flight two minutes before it was scheduled to take off, the one I dubbed 'The Miraculous Savior of Laptops?'
Resisting my first urge to knock urgently upon the glass in an attempt to somehow catch his attention, I try to think about how exactly I can make his acquaintance. Walking around the glass partition and towards the lady who generally checks one's boarding pass and ID, I tell her, "Hello! I know this is an unusual request, but I am actually coming back from a flight, not boarding one. That man over there in the glasses is the guy who saved my laptop about a month ago and I would really like to thank him. Is there any way you could let me in?"
She says, "No, you need to have a gate pass."
I look at her with imploring eyes.
"You could try talking to the TSA worker sitting over there," she nods, and I walk back behind the glass partition and tell my story to the TSA worker. He opens a super-special secret silver door and lets me into the security checkpoint area, telling me to talk to another TSA worker, this one female.
I tell this lady my story, and she tries to figure out which man in glasses I mean. I finally point to him. "Oh, you mean the Supervisor," she says.
Wow, I think. The Supervisor of TSA ran all the way across an airport and boarded my airplane to give me back my laptop. Wow.
"I guess I mean the Supervisor," I say.
She takes out her walkie-talkie and pages the Supervisor to her. He walks over to her, and she says, "That girl has something to say to you."
I look up at this tall, distinguished man with the kind eyes and glasses and say, "Hey. I'm hoping you're the right person because I think I remember you. I was flying to Chicago and this man boarded my flight and gave me back my laptop after I had left it on the conveyor belt. I'm pretty sure that was you."
"I don't remember," he says, and shrugs modestly. "It might have been me. When did this happen?"
"About a month ago," I say. "You boarded the laptop and said, 'Show me some form of ID' and asked if my name was Olivia."
"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Yes, now I do remember."
"Well, I wanted to express my total and complete thanks for saving my $1000 laptop. I was so flustered then that I didn't get to thank you properly! And I was wondering if there were something I could do, some way I could commend you or otherwise thank you?"
He smiles at me. "Usually people are yelling at me!" (I'm assuming that is because of lost items.) "Sure," he says and hands me a blue card with the email address one writes to in order to write up stuff regarding TSA workers.
My LaGuardia Superhero's name is Sean Holian. If any of you ever meet him, tell him that Olivia sends him her best and thanks him again.
Anyway, what are the odds that I should happen to meet my superhero in LaGuardia about a month after this whole incident took place? The odds that I just happened to peek through the glass (truth is, those are high; I'm always curious about everything) and recognized him and got to thank him appropriately? The odds that now I can write him the letter of commendation he deserves?
There are about a million people working in LaGuardia. I think the fact that I found my Laptop Savior is demonstrative of the fact that if God knows you really want to do something (and I really wanted to thank this man), He'll help you to do it. Thus, even though talking to flight attendants and the pilot and the gate attendant didn't help me track down the TSA man, a chance glance through a glass partition did. Thanks, God. That completely made my day; I'm a happy child.
~
Well folks, today I flew American Airlines flight 382 into LaGuardia. It was a routine flight, all was well, and we disembarked at one of the D gates. Walking nonchalantly towards Baggage Claim, I am separated by a glass partition from those folks who are flying out of LaGuardia to another destination.
Curious, I peered through the glass.
And who should I see but the mystery TSA worker? That amazing man who ran all the way across an airport and boarded my flight two minutes before it was scheduled to take off, the one I dubbed 'The Miraculous Savior of Laptops?'
Resisting my first urge to knock urgently upon the glass in an attempt to somehow catch his attention, I try to think about how exactly I can make his acquaintance. Walking around the glass partition and towards the lady who generally checks one's boarding pass and ID, I tell her, "Hello! I know this is an unusual request, but I am actually coming back from a flight, not boarding one. That man over there in the glasses is the guy who saved my laptop about a month ago and I would really like to thank him. Is there any way you could let me in?"
She says, "No, you need to have a gate pass."
I look at her with imploring eyes.
"You could try talking to the TSA worker sitting over there," she nods, and I walk back behind the glass partition and tell my story to the TSA worker. He opens a super-special secret silver door and lets me into the security checkpoint area, telling me to talk to another TSA worker, this one female.
I tell this lady my story, and she tries to figure out which man in glasses I mean. I finally point to him. "Oh, you mean the Supervisor," she says.
Wow, I think. The Supervisor of TSA ran all the way across an airport and boarded my airplane to give me back my laptop. Wow.
"I guess I mean the Supervisor," I say.
She takes out her walkie-talkie and pages the Supervisor to her. He walks over to her, and she says, "That girl has something to say to you."
I look up at this tall, distinguished man with the kind eyes and glasses and say, "Hey. I'm hoping you're the right person because I think I remember you. I was flying to Chicago and this man boarded my flight and gave me back my laptop after I had left it on the conveyor belt. I'm pretty sure that was you."
"I don't remember," he says, and shrugs modestly. "It might have been me. When did this happen?"
"About a month ago," I say. "You boarded the laptop and said, 'Show me some form of ID' and asked if my name was Olivia."
"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Yes, now I do remember."
"Well, I wanted to express my total and complete thanks for saving my $1000 laptop. I was so flustered then that I didn't get to thank you properly! And I was wondering if there were something I could do, some way I could commend you or otherwise thank you?"
He smiles at me. "Usually people are yelling at me!" (I'm assuming that is because of lost items.) "Sure," he says and hands me a blue card with the email address one writes to in order to write up stuff regarding TSA workers.
My LaGuardia Superhero's name is Sean Holian. If any of you ever meet him, tell him that Olivia sends him her best and thanks him again.
Anyway, what are the odds that I should happen to meet my superhero in LaGuardia about a month after this whole incident took place? The odds that I just happened to peek through the glass (truth is, those are high; I'm always curious about everything) and recognized him and got to thank him appropriately? The odds that now I can write him the letter of commendation he deserves?
There are about a million people working in LaGuardia. I think the fact that I found my Laptop Savior is demonstrative of the fact that if God knows you really want to do something (and I really wanted to thank this man), He'll help you to do it. Thus, even though talking to flight attendants and the pilot and the gate attendant didn't help me track down the TSA man, a chance glance through a glass partition did. Thanks, God. That completely made my day; I'm a happy child.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
To Discipline the Soul
When Dr. Salk cured polio, one shopkeeper wrote on his storefront window, 'Thank you Dr. Salk.'
If you had a storefront window, what would you write on it?
I think I would change the messages as the days came, much like the hair salons do it. They change up the paint in the window depending on the holiday.
Today's message would be: I miss you. Everything reminds me of you.
But it is also written: קָרוֹב יְהוָה, לְנִשְׁבְּרֵי-לֵב; וְאֶת-דַּכְּאֵי-רוּחַ יוֹשִׁיעַ
And thus I am certain tomorrow's message would be: כֹּל הַנְּשָׁמָה, תְּהַלֵּל יָהּ: הַלְלוּ-יָהּ
For I know, in my better moments, how great and just and kind God is. He dispenses blessings to all; He has granted me so much. God is remarkably close to us; He waits for us to beseech him. Sometimes, it is not the fact that He has answered but merely the fact that He is in the same room as me that comforts me. God Himself does not change; my perceptions do. That is why David is such an immortal guide; he wrote letter upon letter to God. He beseeches God, challenges Him, questions Him and begs Him. It even seems as though he battles his own soul.
מַה-תִּשְׁתּוֹחֲחִי, נַפְשִׁי-- וּמַה-תֶּהֱמִי עָלָי:הוֹחִילִי לֵאלֹהִים, כִּי-עוֹד אוֹדֶנּוּ-- יְשׁוּעֹת פָּנַי, וֵאלֹהָיWhy art thou cast down, O my soul? and why moanest thou within me? {N} Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the salvation of my countenance, and my God (Psalm 43)
Perhaps that is part of our task as well, to battle ourselves? Ki od odenu yeshuos panai- for I shall yet praise Him. Despite all things.
This is how man devotes himself to God; He acknowledges that his soul falls within him, yet informs the soul that he shall yet praise God. This is the task, then. One must battle the self and find the will to praise God, despite the obstacles He raises. A new lesson, this. One must hold conversations with one's soul...indeed, one must discipline the soul. The soul may be cast down, but I shall yet praise God.
It seems, God, that You have taught me yet another lesson, one I had not learned. And so I shall endeavor to learn to discipline the soul. You know that is perhaps the hardest test You have yet set me. I find it much easier to be angry with you, and indeed, I think that is the first step. I have succeeded in that one. Now there is a harder step. It seems You wish me to learn to acknowledge my sadness and nonetheless praise you. Well, if David did it, beset as he was by Saul, sons who betrayed him, and having lost Jonathan, the person he loved most in the world, how could I claim it is not possible for me to do? I could not, in good faith, claim that. It is a little like the argument one has when one reaches Heaven (Yoma 35b). One cannot be too poor to learn- was anyone poorer than Hillel? Or too handsome- who was handsomer than Joseph? And my addition: one cannot be too sad, for was there anyone sadder than David? Ah God, it is a cheat, for we all know the answers. Let us, then, strive to conquer the possible.
If you had a storefront window, what would you write on it?
I think I would change the messages as the days came, much like the hair salons do it. They change up the paint in the window depending on the holiday.
Today's message would be: I miss you. Everything reminds me of you.
But it is also written: קָרוֹב יְהוָה, לְנִשְׁבְּרֵי-לֵב; וְאֶת-דַּכְּאֵי-רוּחַ יוֹשִׁיעַ
And thus I am certain tomorrow's message would be: כֹּל הַנְּשָׁמָה, תְּהַלֵּל יָהּ: הַלְלוּ-יָהּ
For I know, in my better moments, how great and just and kind God is. He dispenses blessings to all; He has granted me so much. God is remarkably close to us; He waits for us to beseech him. Sometimes, it is not the fact that He has answered but merely the fact that He is in the same room as me that comforts me. God Himself does not change; my perceptions do. That is why David is such an immortal guide; he wrote letter upon letter to God. He beseeches God, challenges Him, questions Him and begs Him. It even seems as though he battles his own soul.
מַה-תִּשְׁתּוֹחֲחִי, נַפְשִׁי-- וּמַה-תֶּהֱמִי עָלָי:הוֹחִילִי לֵאלֹהִים, כִּי-עוֹד אוֹדֶנּוּ-- יְשׁוּעֹת פָּנַי, וֵאלֹהָיWhy art thou cast down, O my soul? and why moanest thou within me? {N} Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the salvation of my countenance, and my God (Psalm 43)
Perhaps that is part of our task as well, to battle ourselves? Ki od odenu yeshuos panai- for I shall yet praise Him. Despite all things.
This is how man devotes himself to God; He acknowledges that his soul falls within him, yet informs the soul that he shall yet praise God. This is the task, then. One must battle the self and find the will to praise God, despite the obstacles He raises. A new lesson, this. One must hold conversations with one's soul...indeed, one must discipline the soul. The soul may be cast down, but I shall yet praise God.
It seems, God, that You have taught me yet another lesson, one I had not learned. And so I shall endeavor to learn to discipline the soul. You know that is perhaps the hardest test You have yet set me. I find it much easier to be angry with you, and indeed, I think that is the first step. I have succeeded in that one. Now there is a harder step. It seems You wish me to learn to acknowledge my sadness and nonetheless praise you. Well, if David did it, beset as he was by Saul, sons who betrayed him, and having lost Jonathan, the person he loved most in the world, how could I claim it is not possible for me to do? I could not, in good faith, claim that. It is a little like the argument one has when one reaches Heaven (Yoma 35b). One cannot be too poor to learn- was anyone poorer than Hillel? Or too handsome- who was handsomer than Joseph? And my addition: one cannot be too sad, for was there anyone sadder than David? Ah God, it is a cheat, for we all know the answers. Let us, then, strive to conquer the possible.
Daddy's Girl
Just the word 'Daddy' brings so many images to my mind.There are the recent ones, like you teaching me Chassidus yesterday, and explaining about the four different worlds. Or you telling over the beautiful devar torah by the Netziv regarding the fact that the Mekoshesh believed that he was doing something good in demonstrating that one should not transgress Shabbos, but that is why we are told not to 'stray after our heart or eyes.' One should not commit aveiros l'shma.
There's your everlasting commitment to all of us, and the dreams you have forgone in order to do that. Every day that you are at work, I realize that you have enabled us to pursue all our dreams by trading in your own, and that both impresses me and makes me sad.
There are our many memorable rides to the airport, and the various discussions we have.
There's your constant ability to listen to me despite my moods, which can at times be dark or otherwise frustrating. Whenever I want to talk to you, you make time for me. You're very calm and understanding. You ignore my redundancy or other attention-seeking behavior in order to focus on my problem at the time.
You know that I secretly can read Hebrew extremely well, and that if I don't bother to think about it while doing so, I surprise myself, too. *smile*
You used to come to my room and chase away the nightmares. The nightmares have gotten bigger and scarier and you still show me that there's a way out even so.
You drive me everywhere and back, despite the hour.
You laugh, enjoy Rabbi Rakeffet, smile at the Flintstones and bear up well under your children's good-natured teasing.
I have always grown up thinking that you are a tzadik and whenever I read about tzadikim in my books, I envisioned you. It's still true.
You always have the answers. And if you don't have them, it's generally because there are none to be had and I have to work it out for myself, unfortunately.
You worry about all of us (and me) consistently. This shows that you care. We all love you back just as much, if not more.
I'm not the easiest child by any means, what with my questions and demands and wanting to know things, my sadnesses, my madcap follies or other foolishness. I thank you for looking past all that and realizing I don't mean to make your life as difficult as I do. And that I wouldn't have any other father in the world but you, regardless of their learning, stature or status. You're my perfect Daddy and I'm glad my soul picked you. It says children pick their parents; well, I chose the best ones of the lot. I've seen lots of people and they're not as lucky as me by far. How many kids openly discuss the things we do with their parents? And how many parents adopt my family inductees so easily?
If I could make a bouquet of sunlight, stars, knowledge, magenta, orange juice, bananas and grapes, then bind it all together with a bright ribbon, I'd give it to you and wish you a happy Father's Day. Then I'd tell you that I could never repay you for everything, not even if I tried to do so for my whole life. And that I love you, even during the times that I'm not behaving in accordance to your expectations. My wise, learned, loving father, I hope I can learn to be as good a person as you.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Fathers & Oaths
What does Herman Wouk's Inside, Outside, crinkle cookies and the command not to stray after one's heart or one's eyes all have in common?
They all remind me.
Here's the scene from Inside, Outside.
~
So Mother was talking to me, or else we were both sitting quietly, dreaming our dreams. Suddenly the door opened, and my brother Elya came running in with a great cry. After him came my father with a belt in his hand, hitting him and shouting, "My boy sleighing on Shabbess, and on a cake of ice! You, Elya, about to be bar mitzva! And to enter as a clerk in Oskar Cohen's lumberyard! You the best choir singer of Reb Mordechai! What will Reb Mordechai say when he hears it?"
With every sentence he belted Elya. They were both crying, and I cried too, and Mama cried. Never had I seen anything like this. It took Mother some time to calm Father down, but then he put his belt away, and went back next door to the shule. My brother Elya, after crying some more, also left for shule. Nothing was ever mentioned by my parents afterward. At least not in my presence. Only Mother said that she never before saw my father so excited, or striking one of his children.
As the years passed, and I grew up and began to understand things better, this incident kept coming back to my mind. I kept asking myself what made my father get so aroused. Was it the sin of sleighing on Saturday? I could hardly say so. He was not a fanatic; a believer in tradition, but I cannot imagine him punishing his son so severely for this sin. He would have admonished Elya and that would have hurt him more. No, that was not the reason.
Was it fear of losing his job? He did all the manual work of a shammas, taking care of the place and keeping the building and courtyard in order, also chanting the Torah, the haftoras and the megillas. My father did not have a strong voice but it was melodious, and he had a great ear for music. There was nothing but praise for his chanting. Still, there were some who were jealous of him and always looking to find fault. Father knew who they were. Perhaps he feared this act of Elya's would stir up a tumult, and cost us our livelihood.
But there was something more. He deeply loved his children. The mere thought of an accident, of Elya getting crushed by a cake of ice which overturned, or skidding into a hole in the ice and drowning, probably threw him into a frenzy. Never again did he strike one of us, for no matter what cause. This was probably the real reason.
~26-27
They all remind me.
Here's the scene from Inside, Outside.
~
So Mother was talking to me, or else we were both sitting quietly, dreaming our dreams. Suddenly the door opened, and my brother Elya came running in with a great cry. After him came my father with a belt in his hand, hitting him and shouting, "My boy sleighing on Shabbess, and on a cake of ice! You, Elya, about to be bar mitzva! And to enter as a clerk in Oskar Cohen's lumberyard! You the best choir singer of Reb Mordechai! What will Reb Mordechai say when he hears it?"
With every sentence he belted Elya. They were both crying, and I cried too, and Mama cried. Never had I seen anything like this. It took Mother some time to calm Father down, but then he put his belt away, and went back next door to the shule. My brother Elya, after crying some more, also left for shule. Nothing was ever mentioned by my parents afterward. At least not in my presence. Only Mother said that she never before saw my father so excited, or striking one of his children.
As the years passed, and I grew up and began to understand things better, this incident kept coming back to my mind. I kept asking myself what made my father get so aroused. Was it the sin of sleighing on Saturday? I could hardly say so. He was not a fanatic; a believer in tradition, but I cannot imagine him punishing his son so severely for this sin. He would have admonished Elya and that would have hurt him more. No, that was not the reason.
Was it fear of losing his job? He did all the manual work of a shammas, taking care of the place and keeping the building and courtyard in order, also chanting the Torah, the haftoras and the megillas. My father did not have a strong voice but it was melodious, and he had a great ear for music. There was nothing but praise for his chanting. Still, there were some who were jealous of him and always looking to find fault. Father knew who they were. Perhaps he feared this act of Elya's would stir up a tumult, and cost us our livelihood.
But there was something more. He deeply loved his children. The mere thought of an accident, of Elya getting crushed by a cake of ice which overturned, or skidding into a hole in the ice and drowning, probably threw him into a frenzy. Never again did he strike one of us, for no matter what cause. This was probably the real reason.
~26-27
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Urchin & Taran Packing + Moving Service
With a huge burst of applause, we welcome you to...the Urchin and Taran Packing & Moving Service!
Should you ever wish to ship all of your dishes to another state, call upon these young adolescents. They gladly gave up their entire Friday (their first day of vacation) to pack dishes for their adoring older sister. They are very talented when it comes to spatial thinking, something which does not enter into my domain of expertise at all. Then again, they enjoy teasing me about their epic pre-calculus brilliance in general.
Seriously, though- boys, you rock. You are fabulous. I shall have to import you to New York to pack all of this up again when I depart. I love you guys!
Should you ever wish to ship all of your dishes to another state, call upon these young adolescents. They gladly gave up their entire Friday (their first day of vacation) to pack dishes for their adoring older sister. They are very talented when it comes to spatial thinking, something which does not enter into my domain of expertise at all. Then again, they enjoy teasing me about their epic pre-calculus brilliance in general.
Seriously, though- boys, you rock. You are fabulous. I shall have to import you to New York to pack all of this up again when I depart. I love you guys!
Stranded in Lakewood...Not
With the combined help of Abergakames & Daughter of God, I am going to fly into New York, hang out in Queens, go to Manhattan, take public transportation to Lakewood, attend a wedding, and then sleep over at someone's house whom I have never met...so I will not be aimlessly wandering the streets of Lakewood! This is FABULOUS! Lakewood Party dance now! And hurrah for Jews who practice incredible chesed always. Today is a day to speak good of the Jews, as my father says.
Also, I dreamed last night that two girls I know burned down an entire dormitory a la crazy madwoman from Jane Eyre. The dream incorporated real life (I know the girls), high-falutin' literature, cell phones that didn't work, 24 (the bomb looked remarkably like the canister...), and amazing maintenance men. Also, the roof crashing in. Have I ever mentioned that death by burning significantly frightens me? If I die in a car crash, please let it be on impact- not by burning to death.
Best of all, it is THUNDERSTORMING in Chicago! Huzzah thunderstorms!
Also, I dreamed last night that two girls I know burned down an entire dormitory a la crazy madwoman from Jane Eyre. The dream incorporated real life (I know the girls), high-falutin' literature, cell phones that didn't work, 24 (the bomb looked remarkably like the canister...), and amazing maintenance men. Also, the roof crashing in. Have I ever mentioned that death by burning significantly frightens me? If I die in a car crash, please let it be on impact- not by burning to death.
Best of all, it is THUNDERSTORMING in Chicago! Huzzah thunderstorms!
tanzanite eyes
crystal turquoise eye so blue
evaporating smoke in chimney flue
dreams disguised as beloved dust
ashes coating blood like rust
forgotten echoes in the dawn
triumphant queen that kills the pawn
black and white as fire learns
the sacred text that sears and burns
silver teardrop on the pond
mold turned green like ancient frond
palm trees waving in the breeze
the anxious stifling of a sneeze
departed snowflakes that must melt
ebony eyelashes on golden pelt
the wink of an orb so velvet smooth
that it’s peculiar it won’t move
what work of god rests in the eye
that boasts immortal symmetry?
a fractured sphere of discontent
jealous, vain, yet to man lent
to perceive woes both just and kind
and pluck the fruit from orange rind
in this one jewel lives joy and rage
passion tormented, yet encaged
samson followed the forgotten scent
eve to her vision her arm bent
isaac could not see, but wept
when jacob to deception leapt
and was deceived by garments rent
though reuben knew well what they meant
how from this diamond-like device
can liquid fall, as in a trice?
ma bete! so belle did cry
as she did choose to heave a sigh
and trickling down her cheek did find
a tear turned diamond, as from a mine
glittering, its beauty clear
belle had turned a kind of seer
and knowing that the beast did die
made all haste to run and fly
the eye, a glorious creation
mourns god with this queer sensation
water falling from the lid
to reveal emotions hid
deep within the cauldron-state
that is man (when he is great)
or perhaps, when man is bad
to show that he can yet be sad
the tanzanites that are my eyes
have long quailed, yet been shy
but in the glory of the night
they regain a clearer sight
they see truly what they lost
appreciate the heavy cost
in the dark, my sight regained
i dance within the kiln of pain
abraham walked into a furnace
had no qualms, said ‘let them burn us;’
shadrach, meshach and abednego
chose as well to let life go
but were rescued by an angel
who pulled them out of ensuing danger
only haran had to die
the furnace tolerates no lie
who am i, that is my question
and what means this weighty lesson?
am I abram; shall I be saved-
or am I a lying knave?
is my acceptance of god conditional
based on the merely traditional?
shall my burns kill me, my god,
as you do not spare children the rod…
but lo! a tear! a tear was shed
my words you hear; they have been said
with a pure and willing heart
that under your blows does smart
in the kingdom of my mind
you shall my adherence find
and in the lamp that lights my soul
you perceive a burning coal
embers in me you awaken
despite all that you have taken
in my eyes you see me still
daring you to take at will
I have given- I shall give
until you drain me through a sieve,
and of no substance, wasted away
I’ll fall through the holes- to play
in other worlds, perhaps the tear
of grief so utter and so sheer
is turned into a kind of jewel
and as a god, you’re not so cruel
as to deny me the fragile gem
made of more than I truly am
in myself I find you, god
I bow to your immortal rod.
Redt?
For the record, I always used to think people were saying: "Yes, they read me a shidduch."
Now, that meant I was rather confused, because I didn't understand why exactly someone had to be reading you the Shidduch Resume. You have two perfectly good eyes; can't you read it yourself? But I guessed that maybe that was part of the Shadchan's role; she exists in order to read you resumes before actually sending them to you.
So could someone please explain to me: What does redt mean? And what language is it in?
Thanks so much! It's great to learn something new every day. *smile*
Now, that meant I was rather confused, because I didn't understand why exactly someone had to be reading you the Shidduch Resume. You have two perfectly good eyes; can't you read it yourself? But I guessed that maybe that was part of the Shadchan's role; she exists in order to read you resumes before actually sending them to you.
So could someone please explain to me: What does redt mean? And what language is it in?
Thanks so much! It's great to learn something new every day. *smile*
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Lady of Light
Good-Night by Seamus Heaney
A latch lifting, an edged cave of light
Opens across the yard. Out of the low door
They stoop in to the honeyed corridor,
Then walk straight through the wall of the dark.
A puddle, cobble-stones, jambs and doorstep
Are set steady in a block of brightness
Till she strides in again beyond her shadows
And cancels everything behind her.
Opens across the yard. Out of the low door
They stoop in to the honeyed corridor,
Then walk straight through the wall of the dark.
A puddle, cobble-stones, jambs and doorstep
Are set steady in a block of brightness
Till she strides in again beyond her shadows
And cancels everything behind her.
~
Lady on a Balcony by Rainer Maria Rilke
Suddenly she steps, wrapped into the wind,
brightly into brightness, as if singled out,
while now the room as though cut to fit
behind her fills the door
darkly like the ground of cameo,
that lets a glimmer through at the edges;
and you think the evening wasn't there
before she stepped out, and on the railing
set forth just a little of herself,
just her hands, --to be completely light:
as if passed on by the rows of houses
to the heavens, to be swayed by everything.
Chandler Finalist
Holy crap, I'm a goddamned finalist!
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
Seriously- was anyone going to tell me at some point? Or were they all going to wait until I searched my name on Google randomly?
Holy gods! This is actually awesome- even if I don't win- it is awesome!
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
Seriously- was anyone going to tell me at some point? Or were they all going to wait until I searched my name on Google randomly?
Holy gods! This is actually awesome- even if I don't win- it is awesome!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Dustfinger: The Auburn-Haired Sweetie
*insert teasing* Dustfinger's theme song would be Fashion by Lady Gaga.
Dress this girl in Dolce & Gabbana. *smile* Truth is, she deserves it because she's smoking.
Can't wait to see you all grown up, sweetness. Toss of the auburn curls and you'll leave them trailing in your wake, not that you're having trouble on that score now. Sometimes it is so hilarious (in the best way possible) to be your sister.
For those not in the know: Dustfinger is an incredibly popular, beautiful and otherwise extroverted child. I love her, but it is hilarious knowing her. I think the minimum number of phone calls she receives per day is 20. (This is not an exaggeration.) Dustfinger also cares a lot about people and her friends. I watched her defend our family's honor to someone who was stupid enough to get in her face about it. When it comes to family honor, Dustfinger is Zorro and shall avenge us all. In addition, she gave up her day in order to drive me to the mikvah, toivel dishes with me and help me wash and dry them. She frequently gives up her life in order to assist others. She's a loving, caring, emotionally attuned person and we love her for it. She also is very concerned whenever I am sad and exerts all possible means of cheering me up. She is, in effect, an incredibly wonderful sister.
On that note, here is a beautiful essay Dustfinger recently had to write in the style of Tim O'Brien from The Things They Carried. I think it's brilliant, and thus, wanted to share it with you. Dustfinger, in case you are curious, is 16.
~
The Things I Carry
She carried text messages from a boy named _______, a senior at the Fasman Yeshiva High School in Illinois. They were not love messages, and both of them knew that, but since they contained deep intense conversations, she always refrained from deleting them despite her constantly overflowing inbox. Every night, she would change into her pajamas, lie on her bed, and cradle her phone with the tips of her fingers, and spend a couple minutes reflecting on what she should have said when she still had unlimited text. She would imagine re-writing some of her responses and predicting his reactions. A few minutes later, she would sit up and place her phone on her night-stand; then when the light was off and she was under her covers, she would wonder if ______ was really whom he appeared to be.
The things teenagers carry are largely determined by materialism. Among the materialism are feather headbands, frisbees, digital cameras, movie tickets, Orbit chewing gum, packets of Crystal Light, number-two lead pencils, Sharpie markers, text books, bobby pins, and one or two sets of car keys. Yaakov always carries his iPod because it puts him in a good mood. Ruthie, who loves to shop, usually carries a Coach wristlet. Avi carries his cell phone. Ariella feels powerful when she carries money. Bentzy carries his wallet because in today’s society, one cannot function without it. It has his license when he needs to drive and credit cards when he’s in a jam. Scott carries a pad of paper because he claims he has a bad memory. Rachelle carries her swiss army knife and Nechamit carries chapstick for chapped lips. Tal carries his playstation portable to class and on trips because of its conveniently small size. Leora carries a specific heart-shaped necklace which her mother gave her. Emily carries Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer because it smells nice and keeps her hands clean. Ronit carries Advil and a waterbottle to ensure her good health. Sheppy carries his grandfather’s necklace. Sometimes, teenagers are also burdened with the intangible things they carry. Among these burdens are shame, guilt, and sorrow; but, there is also happiness, love, and friendship.
I carry many things. Some of the tangible things connote materialism, but in the twenty-first century, conforming to society has never been more important. To start off, I carry a brown, small Coach wristlet which contains a license, credit card, student I.D., cell-phone, spare change, house keys, Burts Bees Lip Balm, Bigelow Co. lip gloss, and sometimes car keys. The lip stuff is essential, firstly for dry lips, but also because it’s what teenagers must have. The license is a great change from the permit, although the car keys are still a privilege. With the license and car keys, I carry the responsibility of controlling of a 2-ton automobile to and from places in addition to delivering all passengers safely. The credit card and spare change show my love to spend money on things that will brighten mine and others’ day. The highlight of my life is my cell-phone. With it, I can connect with my friends on a daily basis while still maintaining a personal relationship (Facebook is just so impersonal!).
I wish I didn’t have to say this, but sometimes I carry famous brand names such as Abercrombie, Hollister, and Billabong. It’s true that I may be a walking advertisement for these stores, but simultaneously, I am able to identify with the rest of the crowd. If one doesn’t wear a brand label, he has a higher risk of being looked down upon—as sad as that is. I know people who do not know how to dress, even with labels! and I feel somewhat sorry for them because I know how the rest of society views them. It’s not what the clothes are, it’s how one wears the clothes and how much he can afford to spend on his clothes. It is not allowed for a teenager to walk around unkempt. I’ve been there, done that.
I carry the burden of beauty. I burn and gel my hair to change styles throughout the days. I get my eyebrows waxed and plucked. My nails are sometimes treated to a manicure and pedicure. My face is sometimes smothered with makeup and eyeliner. My poor feet walk unsteadily in aching heels. Nevertheless, beauty is important to me because generally, a girl must take care of herself to be attractive to the public. Jewish girls do have more restrictions in terms of how short their shirts and skirts can be, but then again, inner beauty also counts. I must continue to work on controlling my desires and treating others how I would like to be treated as that does not always come naturally. I like to believe that my goal to work on my inner beauty makes me beautiful.
I carry the goal of becoming a person who can impact others. I am the Shmirat HaLashon Action Committee (SHAC) Head of my school. I am a counselor at the Bernard Howrich JCC local Jewish orthodox day camp. I carry The Real ACT Prep Guide so that I will do well on the ACTs and use my knowledge to better the world. I want to inspire others and help others grow because deep down, I know that if I work at it, I can unleash my potential into the actual.
I carry the fate of listening to people. I try to understand their background, problems, concerns, and passions in order so that both they and I can grow. They find me pleasant to confide in and I enjoy that. Sometimes, though, the fate is a burden. The homework due the next day is pushed aside so I can comfort a friend who was recently dumped by his girlfriend. Sometimes the fate is joyous. I will shriek out of happiness if my friends tell me good news. Moods are contagious. From this, I can happily admit that I care about my friends and the occurrences in their lives, sometimes even more than I care about myself. If I am not for others, than what am I?
There is so much more to say about what I carry. I carry pride, respect, fundamental belief in my religion, love, hope, dreams, ambitions, smiles, and reliability. It’s a pity this paper can only be 1000 words.
Dress this girl in Dolce & Gabbana. *smile* Truth is, she deserves it because she's smoking.
Can't wait to see you all grown up, sweetness. Toss of the auburn curls and you'll leave them trailing in your wake, not that you're having trouble on that score now. Sometimes it is so hilarious (in the best way possible) to be your sister.
For those not in the know: Dustfinger is an incredibly popular, beautiful and otherwise extroverted child. I love her, but it is hilarious knowing her. I think the minimum number of phone calls she receives per day is 20. (This is not an exaggeration.) Dustfinger also cares a lot about people and her friends. I watched her defend our family's honor to someone who was stupid enough to get in her face about it. When it comes to family honor, Dustfinger is Zorro and shall avenge us all. In addition, she gave up her day in order to drive me to the mikvah, toivel dishes with me and help me wash and dry them. She frequently gives up her life in order to assist others. She's a loving, caring, emotionally attuned person and we love her for it. She also is very concerned whenever I am sad and exerts all possible means of cheering me up. She is, in effect, an incredibly wonderful sister.
On that note, here is a beautiful essay Dustfinger recently had to write in the style of Tim O'Brien from The Things They Carried. I think it's brilliant, and thus, wanted to share it with you. Dustfinger, in case you are curious, is 16.
~
The Things I Carry
She carried text messages from a boy named _______, a senior at the Fasman Yeshiva High School in Illinois. They were not love messages, and both of them knew that, but since they contained deep intense conversations, she always refrained from deleting them despite her constantly overflowing inbox. Every night, she would change into her pajamas, lie on her bed, and cradle her phone with the tips of her fingers, and spend a couple minutes reflecting on what she should have said when she still had unlimited text. She would imagine re-writing some of her responses and predicting his reactions. A few minutes later, she would sit up and place her phone on her night-stand; then when the light was off and she was under her covers, she would wonder if ______ was really whom he appeared to be.
The things teenagers carry are largely determined by materialism. Among the materialism are feather headbands, frisbees, digital cameras, movie tickets, Orbit chewing gum, packets of Crystal Light, number-two lead pencils, Sharpie markers, text books, bobby pins, and one or two sets of car keys. Yaakov always carries his iPod because it puts him in a good mood. Ruthie, who loves to shop, usually carries a Coach wristlet. Avi carries his cell phone. Ariella feels powerful when she carries money. Bentzy carries his wallet because in today’s society, one cannot function without it. It has his license when he needs to drive and credit cards when he’s in a jam. Scott carries a pad of paper because he claims he has a bad memory. Rachelle carries her swiss army knife and Nechamit carries chapstick for chapped lips. Tal carries his playstation portable to class and on trips because of its conveniently small size. Leora carries a specific heart-shaped necklace which her mother gave her. Emily carries Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer because it smells nice and keeps her hands clean. Ronit carries Advil and a waterbottle to ensure her good health. Sheppy carries his grandfather’s necklace. Sometimes, teenagers are also burdened with the intangible things they carry. Among these burdens are shame, guilt, and sorrow; but, there is also happiness, love, and friendship.
I carry many things. Some of the tangible things connote materialism, but in the twenty-first century, conforming to society has never been more important. To start off, I carry a brown, small Coach wristlet which contains a license, credit card, student I.D., cell-phone, spare change, house keys, Burts Bees Lip Balm, Bigelow Co. lip gloss, and sometimes car keys. The lip stuff is essential, firstly for dry lips, but also because it’s what teenagers must have. The license is a great change from the permit, although the car keys are still a privilege. With the license and car keys, I carry the responsibility of controlling of a 2-ton automobile to and from places in addition to delivering all passengers safely. The credit card and spare change show my love to spend money on things that will brighten mine and others’ day. The highlight of my life is my cell-phone. With it, I can connect with my friends on a daily basis while still maintaining a personal relationship (Facebook is just so impersonal!).
I wish I didn’t have to say this, but sometimes I carry famous brand names such as Abercrombie, Hollister, and Billabong. It’s true that I may be a walking advertisement for these stores, but simultaneously, I am able to identify with the rest of the crowd. If one doesn’t wear a brand label, he has a higher risk of being looked down upon—as sad as that is. I know people who do not know how to dress, even with labels! and I feel somewhat sorry for them because I know how the rest of society views them. It’s not what the clothes are, it’s how one wears the clothes and how much he can afford to spend on his clothes. It is not allowed for a teenager to walk around unkempt. I’ve been there, done that.
I carry the burden of beauty. I burn and gel my hair to change styles throughout the days. I get my eyebrows waxed and plucked. My nails are sometimes treated to a manicure and pedicure. My face is sometimes smothered with makeup and eyeliner. My poor feet walk unsteadily in aching heels. Nevertheless, beauty is important to me because generally, a girl must take care of herself to be attractive to the public. Jewish girls do have more restrictions in terms of how short their shirts and skirts can be, but then again, inner beauty also counts. I must continue to work on controlling my desires and treating others how I would like to be treated as that does not always come naturally. I like to believe that my goal to work on my inner beauty makes me beautiful.
I carry the goal of becoming a person who can impact others. I am the Shmirat HaLashon Action Committee (SHAC) Head of my school. I am a counselor at the Bernard Howrich JCC local Jewish orthodox day camp. I carry The Real ACT Prep Guide so that I will do well on the ACTs and use my knowledge to better the world. I want to inspire others and help others grow because deep down, I know that if I work at it, I can unleash my potential into the actual.
I carry the fate of listening to people. I try to understand their background, problems, concerns, and passions in order so that both they and I can grow. They find me pleasant to confide in and I enjoy that. Sometimes, though, the fate is a burden. The homework due the next day is pushed aside so I can comfort a friend who was recently dumped by his girlfriend. Sometimes the fate is joyous. I will shriek out of happiness if my friends tell me good news. Moods are contagious. From this, I can happily admit that I care about my friends and the occurrences in their lives, sometimes even more than I care about myself. If I am not for others, than what am I?
There is so much more to say about what I carry. I carry pride, respect, fundamental belief in my religion, love, hope, dreams, ambitions, smiles, and reliability. It’s a pity this paper can only be 1000 words.
The Continued Adventures of Olly, Dustfinger & Grandma
And so the day begins!
Grandma decided to take Dustfinger and I to see BroadwayInChicago's "Mary Poppins." (Well, first Grandma asked whether we wanted to see Topol's last appearance in "The Fiddler on the Roof" but I told her I had seen him before, so I wouldn't want to go again.) However, this meant that first we had to stop off at Bagel Country, where I got my habitual pizza-bagels-on-sesame-bagels and Dustfinger opted for chocolate pancakes. From there, we parked near Grandma's house, took the bus to the Howard Street Station, then took another bus to Downtown Chicago.
It was scenic and beautiful. Our busrides were lovely. On the way to Chicago we had a blind man enter our bus (it was amazing that he was so remarkably self-sufficient) and on the way back we had a handicapped man in a wheelchair ride with us. The lovely thing was that everyone got up to offer seats and otherwise assist. I love that about Chicago. You don't always see it in New York.
As for Mary Poppins, it was spectacular. There were brilliant special effects, the characters had supremely wonderful voices, and despite all this, I far prefer the film. The role of Mrs. Banks was completely redone. I have always loved the Votes-for-Women touting woman; she is a very strong character. This Mrs. Banks, although formerly an actress, has to determine whether she will aid her husband as a strong woman instead of doing as she is told. This is a poor change from the character that chooses to get herself thrown into jail, which is more satisfying. Also, at the end of the musical, Mr. Banks ends up being incredibly wealthy and otherwise saved as opposed to having the magical scene in which his hat is punched inside-out and he returns, laughing, to play kites with his children. I also loved the Admiral and the "Positions!" cry in the movie version. Not to forget the penguins, for that matter...there was actually an incredibly excellent production of Mary Poppins put on by the Chicago Chesed Committee (it was called something like that, anyway.) Married women played the different roles- as did Yael Richtman, a classmate of mine - and in some ways it was better than this Broadway musical. Also, I miss the exclamatory "It's the Missus," during Step-in-Time.
There were many new songs and scenes incorporated. There was one new addition to the musical that I actually liked. That took the form of a scene entitled 'Playing the Game' where the mistreated toys came to life and frightened Jane and Michael. It reminded me of one of my favorite stories in a collection rimmed in green entitled The Kingfisher Treasury of Stories for Five-Year-Olds. (Despite the fact that that collection now has an awful cover-the copy I own is far prettier-, you will never find better stories. This is the cover mine had. And the story I am thinking of is called "The Toymaker's Shop.") Anyway, the toys come to life and frighten the children. Mary Poppins takes all the toys away until Jane and Michael learn how to treat them nicely. She also, depressingly, disappears at the end of Act I (at which point I thought the show was over and was very dissatisfied. Upon learning there was an Act II, I was much happier.)
There is also the appearance of the wholly vile Ms. Andrew, Mr. Banks' nanny. She is a fun addition, although I always thought treacle was tasty, even if brimstone is not. Thus, her song doesn't make much sense. But Bert's walking on the ceiling of the theater is pretty awesome. So is the incorporation of 'until the chain breaks.'
Something else I should add in: I have never seen so many children at any Broadway production. The audience was 3/4 five to twelve-year-old kids. It was pretty impressive. They were having a party.
Anyway, enough of this yammering- I liked the film better.
As for the busride back- there was a little black baby girl who became friends with me. That was lots of fun. And then there was this excellent gentleman who had the following conversation (he was wearing a light brown/ camel brown suit, carrying a laptop case, had sandy hair, glasses and a bright shiny star-badge.)
Man: Is he wearing a black hat? Or a hat with fur on it? Does he have strings sticking out of his pockets? (pause, listening) No, just put those through the X-Ray. No, it is very disrespectful to open them. They're called tefillin, not fill-in. They are very expensive; they range from $600 into the thousands. They are for a religious ritual. No, I told you to just wave him through! Zeide means 'grandfather.' And whatever you do, don't drop them; if you do, it's a disaster. It will cost you your job. What? (listening again) No, he will not strangle anyone with the dangling straps! That's baloney. Believe me, if this guy has these things, he's peaceful.
So I thanked the guy on behalf of the Jews. I told him it was nice that he knew not to have people open the tefillin boxes. He was friendly. Dustfinger asked him how he knew so much regarding Jewish customs. He said, "Well, I've been Jewish for a long time." Apparently he was Israeli. It was fun to meet him on the bus.
Then I returned home to find that Mommy had cooked a supremely delicious spaghetti-and-meat sauce (handmade/ homemade) dinner. Plus she had purchased dessert. And everything looked beautiful. And so, blind men, handicapped men, little black baby, happy black family, various children and assorted magical shows later, it was lovely to return home. And I ragged the boys about the fact that they refuse to attend shows in which women sing, which means they miss out on delightful productions such as "Mary Poppins," "The Little Mermaid," and "Beauty and the Beast." Ah, the boys. It is fun that one family can produce so many people with various religious gradations. Huzzah for diversity! Let's celebrate.
Grandma decided to take Dustfinger and I to see BroadwayInChicago's "Mary Poppins." (Well, first Grandma asked whether we wanted to see Topol's last appearance in "The Fiddler on the Roof" but I told her I had seen him before, so I wouldn't want to go again.) However, this meant that first we had to stop off at Bagel Country, where I got my habitual pizza-bagels-on-sesame-bagels and Dustfinger opted for chocolate pancakes. From there, we parked near Grandma's house, took the bus to the Howard Street Station, then took another bus to Downtown Chicago.
It was scenic and beautiful. Our busrides were lovely. On the way to Chicago we had a blind man enter our bus (it was amazing that he was so remarkably self-sufficient) and on the way back we had a handicapped man in a wheelchair ride with us. The lovely thing was that everyone got up to offer seats and otherwise assist. I love that about Chicago. You don't always see it in New York.
As for Mary Poppins, it was spectacular. There were brilliant special effects, the characters had supremely wonderful voices, and despite all this, I far prefer the film. The role of Mrs. Banks was completely redone. I have always loved the Votes-for-Women touting woman; she is a very strong character. This Mrs. Banks, although formerly an actress, has to determine whether she will aid her husband as a strong woman instead of doing as she is told. This is a poor change from the character that chooses to get herself thrown into jail, which is more satisfying. Also, at the end of the musical, Mr. Banks ends up being incredibly wealthy and otherwise saved as opposed to having the magical scene in which his hat is punched inside-out and he returns, laughing, to play kites with his children. I also loved the Admiral and the "Positions!" cry in the movie version. Not to forget the penguins, for that matter...there was actually an incredibly excellent production of Mary Poppins put on by the Chicago Chesed Committee (it was called something like that, anyway.) Married women played the different roles- as did Yael Richtman, a classmate of mine - and in some ways it was better than this Broadway musical. Also, I miss the exclamatory "It's the Missus," during Step-in-Time.
There were many new songs and scenes incorporated. There was one new addition to the musical that I actually liked. That took the form of a scene entitled 'Playing the Game' where the mistreated toys came to life and frightened Jane and Michael. It reminded me of one of my favorite stories in a collection rimmed in green entitled The Kingfisher Treasury of Stories for Five-Year-Olds. (Despite the fact that that collection now has an awful cover-the copy I own is far prettier-, you will never find better stories. This is the cover mine had. And the story I am thinking of is called "The Toymaker's Shop.") Anyway, the toys come to life and frighten the children. Mary Poppins takes all the toys away until Jane and Michael learn how to treat them nicely. She also, depressingly, disappears at the end of Act I (at which point I thought the show was over and was very dissatisfied. Upon learning there was an Act II, I was much happier.)
There is also the appearance of the wholly vile Ms. Andrew, Mr. Banks' nanny. She is a fun addition, although I always thought treacle was tasty, even if brimstone is not. Thus, her song doesn't make much sense. But Bert's walking on the ceiling of the theater is pretty awesome. So is the incorporation of 'until the chain breaks.'
Something else I should add in: I have never seen so many children at any Broadway production. The audience was 3/4 five to twelve-year-old kids. It was pretty impressive. They were having a party.
Anyway, enough of this yammering- I liked the film better.
As for the busride back- there was a little black baby girl who became friends with me. That was lots of fun. And then there was this excellent gentleman who had the following conversation (he was wearing a light brown/ camel brown suit, carrying a laptop case, had sandy hair, glasses and a bright shiny star-badge.)
Man: Is he wearing a black hat? Or a hat with fur on it? Does he have strings sticking out of his pockets? (pause, listening) No, just put those through the X-Ray. No, it is very disrespectful to open them. They're called tefillin, not fill-in. They are very expensive; they range from $600 into the thousands. They are for a religious ritual. No, I told you to just wave him through! Zeide means 'grandfather.' And whatever you do, don't drop them; if you do, it's a disaster. It will cost you your job. What? (listening again) No, he will not strangle anyone with the dangling straps! That's baloney. Believe me, if this guy has these things, he's peaceful.
So I thanked the guy on behalf of the Jews. I told him it was nice that he knew not to have people open the tefillin boxes. He was friendly. Dustfinger asked him how he knew so much regarding Jewish customs. He said, "Well, I've been Jewish for a long time." Apparently he was Israeli. It was fun to meet him on the bus.
Then I returned home to find that Mommy had cooked a supremely delicious spaghetti-and-meat sauce (handmade/ homemade) dinner. Plus she had purchased dessert. And everything looked beautiful. And so, blind men, handicapped men, little black baby, happy black family, various children and assorted magical shows later, it was lovely to return home. And I ragged the boys about the fact that they refuse to attend shows in which women sing, which means they miss out on delightful productions such as "Mary Poppins," "The Little Mermaid," and "Beauty and the Beast." Ah, the boys. It is fun that one family can produce so many people with various religious gradations. Huzzah for diversity! Let's celebrate.
Humor Is A Man's Best Friend
A very true sentiment, prettily expressed. Therefore, my new statement.Tell me, God, why must everything remind me of this? Everything conspires to remind me. Not that I believe in mind-wiping (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a form of torture, as far as I'm concerned.) But must everything remind me?
Ah well, I'm sure I shall just continue enjoying the humor...and on that note, let's go attack today's entertainment!
The Fall
TheOtherFauvent,
I watched The Fall. It was exquisite. Dreamlike, tragic and beautiful all at once, exactly the way a movie should be. It made me cry. I cannot remember the last time a movie truly made me cry, as opposed to merely bringing tears to the eye. If I were a movie, I would be The Fall.
The wedding scene was one of the ones that made me cry.
But I also loved:
I watched The Fall. It was exquisite. Dreamlike, tragic and beautiful all at once, exactly the way a movie should be. It made me cry. I cannot remember the last time a movie truly made me cry, as opposed to merely bringing tears to the eye. If I were a movie, I would be The Fall.
The wedding scene was one of the ones that made me cry.
But I also loved:
- "Googly, googly, googly."
- The quote you referenced regarding throwing oranges at priests.
- The fact that Alexandria plants orange halves with teeth within them, thinking that will grow oranges with teeth.
- The promise Roy makes to her and how he shows her his hands.
- The poetry/ literary nature of the film. Also, the beautifully evocative soundtrack.
- "The Fall"- falling from horses, orange groves, medicine cabinets, in battle...
- And of course, the fact that Alexandria changes the story.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Continued Adventures of Olly and Spock
Today, after not sleeping well, I moodily arose to face the morning light streaming into my room. Rubbing my eyes, I checked the time, then walked over to my computer.
Spock typed to me on Gmail Chat: Are you awake?
I answered crabbily: Unfortunately.
You see, I had to go continue washing dishes (the toiveling adventure is by no means concluded.) Despite this, Spock cheered me and informed me that I had to be ready by 10:45 AM, as that is when he would stop by to pick me up. And, if needed, he planned on washing dishes with me.
Tall, model-handsome Spock was waiting for me at precisely that time in his silver car. By then I had showered and otherwise revived. We returned to his home where we watched episodes of Frasier, definitely the most hilarious sitcom I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying. Frasier's humor is very much my own; it is erudite, intelligent humor as opposed to slapstick or crude jokes. After having watched 2 episodes, Spock and I headed off to the train station, where we enjoyed a train ride on the Metra and went to Downtown Chicago. By this point in time, it was freezing and pouring rain. Spock had cleverly thought to bring a blue umbrella along; he gets props for that. We walked through Millenium Park and to the Art Institute, where we checked out the new Modern Wing. Hitman had wanted me to do that, but I had not been available that day.
The Modern Wing is a beautifully spacious, airy, light-encompassing space. It is lovely. The works encased therein are also fascinating. I liked this painting by Peter Doig best. It is entitled Gasthof zur Muldentalsperre:
Then, famished after viewing all the wonderful artwork, we headed to the Art Institute Cafe. There, I purchased a bag of pretzels and The Recalcitrant Orange, while Spock purchased two cookies, pretzels and a Naked juice. He had politely waited till past 3:00 for me to say that I was hungry instead of telling me that he was. In any case, The Recalcitrant Orange was so-termed due to the fact that it did not wish to be peeled by my lovely fingernails, and so Spock had to cut a slice of skin off down the middle, exposing the orange core beneath. This looked like a piece of Modern art, something upon which we both remarked. Eventually, I ate The Recalcitrant Orange and Spock told me he enjoyed his Pretzel Fine Dining Experience.
After this, we looked at the Photography Wing, then headed back out into the pouring rain to return to the train. But not before walking through Millenium Park and passing by The Bean. Oddly, halfway up The Bean, someone had managed to place two handprints, which stood out given the rain sluicing down. Observe:
We then realized that the Band-Pit had an orchestra performing therein! So there were Spock and I, soaked to the bone, walking in the midst of Millenium Park with naught but a small blue umbrella above us, being serenaded by powerful orchestral music. Spock could not stop laughing when the trombones joined in. It was hilarious and lovely simultaneously.
We shivered and pressed onward, reaching the train station in time to board. (On the way, I engaged in some interpretive dance....rain dances are fun.) Spock did not drive us back to his house before ensuring that I would have food. Thus, we made a quick stop at the grocery store and he purchased Chewy Chips Ahoy!, Nestle Hot Chocolate, Snyder Pretzels and best of all, Styrofoam Cups so that I would be able to eat and drink at his house. Spock has an incredibly respectful attitude toward my many confusing and otherwise peculiar Jewish practices.
We returned home and Spock covered me in towels and blankets, ensuring that I could warm up a bit. He made me hot chocolate; we had our cookie-and-pretzel party, continued watching Frasier, and his mother was so sweet that she invited me to dinner (which of course I could not eat, as I keep kosher.) He then ventured outside into the pouring rain (barefoot; he decided it would be fun to drive me home barefoot) and drove me home.
And thus does one have a perfect day.
Spock typed to me on Gmail Chat: Are you awake?
I answered crabbily: Unfortunately.
You see, I had to go continue washing dishes (the toiveling adventure is by no means concluded.) Despite this, Spock cheered me and informed me that I had to be ready by 10:45 AM, as that is when he would stop by to pick me up. And, if needed, he planned on washing dishes with me.
Tall, model-handsome Spock was waiting for me at precisely that time in his silver car. By then I had showered and otherwise revived. We returned to his home where we watched episodes of Frasier, definitely the most hilarious sitcom I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying. Frasier's humor is very much my own; it is erudite, intelligent humor as opposed to slapstick or crude jokes. After having watched 2 episodes, Spock and I headed off to the train station, where we enjoyed a train ride on the Metra and went to Downtown Chicago. By this point in time, it was freezing and pouring rain. Spock had cleverly thought to bring a blue umbrella along; he gets props for that. We walked through Millenium Park and to the Art Institute, where we checked out the new Modern Wing. Hitman had wanted me to do that, but I had not been available that day.
The Modern Wing is a beautifully spacious, airy, light-encompassing space. It is lovely. The works encased therein are also fascinating. I liked this painting by Peter Doig best. It is entitled Gasthof zur Muldentalsperre:
Then, famished after viewing all the wonderful artwork, we headed to the Art Institute Cafe. There, I purchased a bag of pretzels and The Recalcitrant Orange, while Spock purchased two cookies, pretzels and a Naked juice. He had politely waited till past 3:00 for me to say that I was hungry instead of telling me that he was. In any case, The Recalcitrant Orange was so-termed due to the fact that it did not wish to be peeled by my lovely fingernails, and so Spock had to cut a slice of skin off down the middle, exposing the orange core beneath. This looked like a piece of Modern art, something upon which we both remarked. Eventually, I ate The Recalcitrant Orange and Spock told me he enjoyed his Pretzel Fine Dining Experience.
After this, we looked at the Photography Wing, then headed back out into the pouring rain to return to the train. But not before walking through Millenium Park and passing by The Bean. Oddly, halfway up The Bean, someone had managed to place two handprints, which stood out given the rain sluicing down. Observe:
We then realized that the Band-Pit had an orchestra performing therein! So there were Spock and I, soaked to the bone, walking in the midst of Millenium Park with naught but a small blue umbrella above us, being serenaded by powerful orchestral music. Spock could not stop laughing when the trombones joined in. It was hilarious and lovely simultaneously.
We shivered and pressed onward, reaching the train station in time to board. (On the way, I engaged in some interpretive dance....rain dances are fun.) Spock did not drive us back to his house before ensuring that I would have food. Thus, we made a quick stop at the grocery store and he purchased Chewy Chips Ahoy!, Nestle Hot Chocolate, Snyder Pretzels and best of all, Styrofoam Cups so that I would be able to eat and drink at his house. Spock has an incredibly respectful attitude toward my many confusing and otherwise peculiar Jewish practices.
We returned home and Spock covered me in towels and blankets, ensuring that I could warm up a bit. He made me hot chocolate; we had our cookie-and-pretzel party, continued watching Frasier, and his mother was so sweet that she invited me to dinner (which of course I could not eat, as I keep kosher.) He then ventured outside into the pouring rain (barefoot; he decided it would be fun to drive me home barefoot) and drove me home.
And thus does one have a perfect day.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Bloody Bloody Bloody Bloody Bloody Bloody Hell
Random fact of useless knowledge: Someone ought to write a dissertation comparing House's love of Vicodin to Captain Jack Sparrow's love of rum. They particularly ought to compare the kiss-off scenes. House' takes place with Cameron; Sparrow's features the lovely Elizabeth Swann.
Slightly more useful statement: Someone should go get me a drink.
Slightly more useful statement: Someone should go get me a drink.
Okay, I'm Knackered
Getting boxes from garage: 20 minutes
Packing stuff into boxes: 1 hour
Transferring boxes to car: 10 minutes
Driving to mikvah: 15 minutes
Toiveling dishes: 2 hours
Driving back: 15 minutes
Washing dishes & repacking them so as to ship them to New York: God knows, didn't start that part yet.
Best part: Woman who comes in to toivel dishes asking Dustfinger if she's a recently married lady, which is why she has so much stuff.
Dustfinger's expression: Priceless.
Anyway. I am knackered. Onward bound to the rest of this task.
Packing stuff into boxes: 1 hour
Transferring boxes to car: 10 minutes
Driving to mikvah: 15 minutes
Toiveling dishes: 2 hours
Driving back: 15 minutes
Washing dishes & repacking them so as to ship them to New York: God knows, didn't start that part yet.
Best part: Woman who comes in to toivel dishes asking Dustfinger if she's a recently married lady, which is why she has so much stuff.
Dustfinger's expression: Priceless.
Anyway. I am knackered. Onward bound to the rest of this task.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Kitchen Queen, AKA Eilonwy Comes To Life
I used to party like a waitress; now I am to be a Kitchen Queen (AKA Eilonwy.) My mother is under the mistaken impression that I'm getting married. Observe:
And by no means is that everything.
It was the conversation that ensued that was hilarious.
Mommy: Well, what do you think of what I bought you?
Chana: (utterly shocked) I was expecting a few pots and pans when you said you were buying me a kitchen.
Mommy: A few pots and pans? For shame. You're going to cook!
Chana: But it's like you think I'm getting married! You bought me a whole kitchen, not something to use while living in an apartment with a couple of girls.
Mommy: But you're going to have people over for Shabbos, aren't you?
Chana: Yes, but...
Mommy: *beatific smile*
Chana: Well, I guess when I get married I won't have to buy anything. I'll have all of this.
Mommy: *looking at me as though I were crazy* You think that I'm going to let you keep this rubbish when you get married? No, we'll buy you a whole new kitchen.
Chana: ?!
Mommy: Oh yes, and then there are the linens and the sheets (continues listing items)
Chana: He's a lucky guy, whoever he is; he's not going to have to pay for a kitchen.
Mommy: Chana, you are not keeping this kitchen when you get married. Do you think I love you so little that this would be your dowry?
Chana: Um. This is little?
Mommy: *rolls eyes* Sweetheart, you have no idea what I've got in store for you.
Dear Future Husband, whomever you may be, you are a lucky guy. You won't have to spend your money on kitchen items. Or on anything else, apparently, so long as my Mother has her way. Also, I'm the one who has to toivel all of this. Toiveling party! Rainwater in mikvas, what could be more splendiferous....sigh. Lost my mojo; need it back. Little talking dragon out of Mulan, where the hell are you?
And by no means is that everything.
It was the conversation that ensued that was hilarious.
Mommy: Well, what do you think of what I bought you?
Chana: (utterly shocked) I was expecting a few pots and pans when you said you were buying me a kitchen.
Mommy: A few pots and pans? For shame. You're going to cook!
Chana: But it's like you think I'm getting married! You bought me a whole kitchen, not something to use while living in an apartment with a couple of girls.
Mommy: But you're going to have people over for Shabbos, aren't you?
Chana: Yes, but...
Mommy: *beatific smile*
Chana: Well, I guess when I get married I won't have to buy anything. I'll have all of this.
Mommy: *looking at me as though I were crazy* You think that I'm going to let you keep this rubbish when you get married? No, we'll buy you a whole new kitchen.
Chana: ?!
Mommy: Oh yes, and then there are the linens and the sheets (continues listing items)
Chana: He's a lucky guy, whoever he is; he's not going to have to pay for a kitchen.
Mommy: Chana, you are not keeping this kitchen when you get married. Do you think I love you so little that this would be your dowry?
Chana: Um. This is little?
Mommy: *rolls eyes* Sweetheart, you have no idea what I've got in store for you.
Dear Future Husband, whomever you may be, you are a lucky guy. You won't have to spend your money on kitchen items. Or on anything else, apparently, so long as my Mother has her way. Also, I'm the one who has to toivel all of this. Toiveling party! Rainwater in mikvas, what could be more splendiferous....sigh. Lost my mojo; need it back. Little talking dragon out of Mulan, where the hell are you?
Paint
Tell me, where in Manhattan and/or Washington Heights can I find a fully-equipped art store? I need a set of brushes of all sizes, oil paints and canvases. Also, whatever it is that one uses instead of water to remove the paint; I forget what it is called. Maybe turpentine. (And actually, I'd like some acrylic paint, too. And a book of palettes.)
Fragile
Dear God,
You really hurt me very badly this time. I don't think it can be undone.
I am very fragile.
This is what comes of living in a glass room.
Please let me out soon.
Love,
Chana
P.S. This time, I built You a whole palace, not a mere rose. I think it is enough.
You really hurt me very badly this time. I don't think it can be undone.
I am very fragile.
This is what comes of living in a glass room.
Please let me out soon.
Love,
Chana
P.S. This time, I built You a whole palace, not a mere rose. I think it is enough.
Belle de Jour
Uri,
I watched Belle de Jour. It was fascinating and sickening simultaneously. Perhaps most remarkably, it was not even remotely erotic. One would think that a film about such a subject would be. Instead, it had much more to do with the disturbing fantasies which a person could think up, and more importantly, the power of imagination when used in the wrong way.
I cannot remember where it was; I thought it was The Kuzari but I can't find the place - one of our sefarim states that the imagination is suspect. Or perhaps that the power of the imagination is suspect. I never understood that before. But after seeing the film, I think I understand better. The imagination, if misused, drags a person down to the most disgusting depths. It was interesting that Belle de Jour thought the domination of the man by the 'Countess' was disgusting, and yet she herself explains to Mr. Husson that she cannot help herself or resist. She knows she is 'lost' and that she shall 'pay dearly.' There is something very ironic about that.
Perhaps what is most remarkable about the film is the quiet, the silence. There is so much at work within the silence. Roger Ebert's characterizaton of Marcel as a 'prop' for Severine's imagination is correct. She does not like the man; she likes that he fulfills her fantasy.
What I found most interesting was the cat meows in the soundtrack toward the end, when she dreams of a reconciliation with her husband. That, of course, refers to the scene in which she plays the dead daughter of the Duke. There, too, the Duke's manservant interrupts and asks, 'Shall I let the cats in?' I saw the ending as representative of a kind of death, the death of Severine's desire for the sickening sexual fantasies she had formerly indulged in. However, I do not think it will last. It was only for that moment that she wished for her husband; there was no remorse or regret. Inside of her, something is broken. Perhaps the reason I find sadomasochism/ sadism/ masochism to be so incredibly repellant is due to the fact that it creates (or at least in this film, it did) a relationship where one person uses the other. There is no love; it is an I- it relationship, as the Rav wrote when he addressed the topic of sexuality ("The Redemption of Sexual Life.") Each person uses the other to fulfill his fantasy. I do not believe in the idea of consensual hurting of people. I think there is something very dark in the person when one seeks expiation by begging another to hurt them. I can only find it sad; for it to be titillating or arousing defies even my imagination.
The idea is addressed in one of my favorite books; I believe I have cited the quote before. The book is called Eleven Minutes and is by Paulho Coelho. But there, Maria is not 'lost' as Severine is; she is simply aroused by pain. Severine seems far too emotionally detached to be touched by anyone or anything; she is an ice queen. Thus her motivation is not explained and does not even seem clear to herself. Perhaps it is also because this concept is beyond my ability to grasp: I cannot see how pain, domination, insults, violence and other behavior that degrades a human being can ever be arousing. To me, it is sickening. Homosexuality and transsexuality have never sickened me; that can be done with love. To strip a person of his selfhood and fling mud on him, or tie him up or shoot him or otherwise humiliate him cannot be done with love. Thus my complete and utter disgust. What exists within a person that would make them seek to be truly hurt and humiliated in that way? It is something beyond my comprehension...
I watched Belle de Jour. It was fascinating and sickening simultaneously. Perhaps most remarkably, it was not even remotely erotic. One would think that a film about such a subject would be. Instead, it had much more to do with the disturbing fantasies which a person could think up, and more importantly, the power of imagination when used in the wrong way.
I cannot remember where it was; I thought it was The Kuzari but I can't find the place - one of our sefarim states that the imagination is suspect. Or perhaps that the power of the imagination is suspect. I never understood that before. But after seeing the film, I think I understand better. The imagination, if misused, drags a person down to the most disgusting depths. It was interesting that Belle de Jour thought the domination of the man by the 'Countess' was disgusting, and yet she herself explains to Mr. Husson that she cannot help herself or resist. She knows she is 'lost' and that she shall 'pay dearly.' There is something very ironic about that.
Perhaps what is most remarkable about the film is the quiet, the silence. There is so much at work within the silence. Roger Ebert's characterizaton of Marcel as a 'prop' for Severine's imagination is correct. She does not like the man; she likes that he fulfills her fantasy.
What I found most interesting was the cat meows in the soundtrack toward the end, when she dreams of a reconciliation with her husband. That, of course, refers to the scene in which she plays the dead daughter of the Duke. There, too, the Duke's manservant interrupts and asks, 'Shall I let the cats in?' I saw the ending as representative of a kind of death, the death of Severine's desire for the sickening sexual fantasies she had formerly indulged in. However, I do not think it will last. It was only for that moment that she wished for her husband; there was no remorse or regret. Inside of her, something is broken. Perhaps the reason I find sadomasochism/ sadism/ masochism to be so incredibly repellant is due to the fact that it creates (or at least in this film, it did) a relationship where one person uses the other. There is no love; it is an I- it relationship, as the Rav wrote when he addressed the topic of sexuality ("The Redemption of Sexual Life.") Each person uses the other to fulfill his fantasy. I do not believe in the idea of consensual hurting of people. I think there is something very dark in the person when one seeks expiation by begging another to hurt them. I can only find it sad; for it to be titillating or arousing defies even my imagination.
The idea is addressed in one of my favorite books; I believe I have cited the quote before. The book is called Eleven Minutes and is by Paulho Coelho. But there, Maria is not 'lost' as Severine is; she is simply aroused by pain. Severine seems far too emotionally detached to be touched by anyone or anything; she is an ice queen. Thus her motivation is not explained and does not even seem clear to herself. Perhaps it is also because this concept is beyond my ability to grasp: I cannot see how pain, domination, insults, violence and other behavior that degrades a human being can ever be arousing. To me, it is sickening. Homosexuality and transsexuality have never sickened me; that can be done with love. To strip a person of his selfhood and fling mud on him, or tie him up or shoot him or otherwise humiliate him cannot be done with love. Thus my complete and utter disgust. What exists within a person that would make them seek to be truly hurt and humiliated in that way? It is something beyond my comprehension...
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