Sunday, October 25, 2009

To Be An Orthodox Homosexual Jew

This man is my friend although he is not the friend. I found his words very moving and thought I would cite them here:
    aaaand now for the heavy stuff. The real reason I'm writing this blog is to hopefully help people understand the situation of life. Not for pity or sympathy or love or support. Just understanding. I am a Frum Jew. I have alway been a Frum Jew. And With Hashem's help, I will continue to be a Frum Jew.
    The challenge Hashem gave me is that I am not attracted to women, I am attracted to men. Unfortunately, the Torah tells us not to be with men. Do I think anyone can lead a completely celibate life? No. But one can try. I have never and will never say "it's okay to be Gay accordoing to Orthodox Judaism." It is not. And this is why I struggle every day.
    I do not regret coming out. I am still happy with the decision to let the world know of the struggle of homosexuality and Judaism. However, it is still a struggle. And it is not okay to go against the Torah, no matter what our hearts desire.
    There's plenty more to come.
This is very brave since those of us at YU know exactly who this person is. I wish him so much good luck and hope everyone reads his words and strives to understand where he is coming from. I don't believe there are many who can fathom the amount of courage it takes to be who this man is and to live life as he does.

Thus, if you would like some perspective into the life of an Orthodox Jew whose sexual orientation is that of homosexual, read 'An Orthodox Jew.' He's a student just like the rest of us, doing homework, taking midterms, and watching TV...and he's also dealing with struggles that set him apart in a very unique way. The path he walks is one worth watching, so long as it is done with eyes that seek to learn rather than accuse.


Shades of Gray said...

"I wish him so much good luck and hope everyone reads his words and strives to understand where he is coming from. "

I wish him the best as well. I don't think one can understand such a challenge unless one personally has the same, but for what it's worth, I think no less of him than I do of any yeshiva student without those specific challenges.

I was watching this brief video, linked below, on Aish Hatorah about "challenges". It seems some people get what seems like bigger challenges than most, which are exacerbated by the fact that other people don't understand them. Nevertheless, as Lori Palatnik points out on the video, there is no such thing as someone who doesn't have any.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the halacha of "a man not laying with a man" is only talking to straight men, but mi'stama if one has that urge, g'zentah hait.

Chana said...

Interesting video link- thanks!

Anon 10:24,
I don't think you would be able to support that contention from the verses. We could apply that logic across the board, and that would lead to problematic situations. For example, one could say: I don't think you are generally allowed to steal, but mi'stama if one has that urge, gezunteheit. And that of course would not work, just as murder/ adultery, etc, is not permitted under those circumstances. But do feel free to clarify further!