A Rabbi I really love and respect quoted the following Gemara to me- it's from Bava Metziah 59a:
וגו' א"ל רב פפא לאביי והא אמרי אינשי איתתך גוצא גחין ותלחוש לה לא קשיא הא במילי דעלמא והא במילי דביתא לישנא אחרינא הא במילי דשמיא והא במילי דעלמא
R. Papa objected to Abaye: But people say, If your wife is short, bend down and hear her whisper! — There is no difficulty: the one refers to general matters; the other to household affairs.16 Another version: the one refers to religious matters, the other to secular questions.
The point of this is: Man has the final say in religious/ spiritual matters and woman presides over household matters.
Now, here is my question- how can you take a woman, raise her in a religious atmosphere so that she learns, is knowledgeable, can think for herself and so forth and then simply place her in charge of household matters? I understand how the Chareidi world operates; the woman is raised to submit to her husband's knowledge and authority. In fact, this must be part of what R' Avigdor Miller was basing his points on. But when it comes to those of us who operate within the Torah U-Madda world, exactly how does one interpret this? My Rabbi was simply making the point that in the end, although there can be discussions, I have to defer to my husband about religious matters. Here's the thing: Gemara or no Gemara, there is no way that I will be ruled by my husband. Authoritative figures who try to force things upon me do not bode well for any sort of healthy future. You cannot truly respect someone if you are ruling over them; the power is always in your favor. Now, in the time of the Gemara when the women had to do plenty of time-consuming work and their domain was truly the practical halakhic considerations of house and home, I see how this statement makes sense. Yet how does it apply nowadays? Do you really mean to tell me I must submit to the religious decisions made by my husband, whether I agree with them or not? There is no way that is happening.