The Sparkle Queen Is Back!

A brilliant equation has occurred to me!

If and , then everyone I touch is bound to sparkle!

I watched the premiere of "House" and decided the Sparkle Queen (i.e., yours truly) is back. It's Britney, b*tch. This is going to be an absolutely excellent year. And that's all there is to say about it.

Part of the New Year's resolutions is to laugh as much as possible. To entertain you, I offer you this story:

It's past 12:00 AM and I am trying to sleep. Tossing and turning in New York, my phone suddenly beeps. Perplexed, I pick it up. A Chicago number has sent me a pictoral message. It's entitled 'My New Family' and shows a tough black man in a red jersey holding two dogs. The dogs are wearing bling. I stare at it groggily, trying to understand who or what this is. Finally, I determine that indeed, I do not know a black man with two pimped-out dogs who treats them as family members. Having resolved this dilemma, I fall back asleep, laughing a little because of the poor man who inadvertantly has introduced himself to me via this medium. Tis a strange but wonderfully absurd world.