Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Angel's Day!

My dear people, you have not lived until you have celebrated Angel's Day!

Now, what is Angel's Day, you ask?

Well, you see, 09/09/09 is 999, the opposite of 666 (the Devil's number.) Thus, 999 is Angel's Day. My friend and I decided to epitomize this by throwing an Angel's Day party at The Food Emporium. This took the form of finding various items there and turning them into extremely suggestive and highly entertaining posing opportunities. Alas, I shall not post up pictures of me in this forum (although they are hilarious), but you can check them out on Facebook. In the meantime, let's introduce you to our beautifully crafted 'Angel's Day' poster....

My friend Brown and I had the following conversation regarding this creation.

Brown: Interesting choice for the 'day' box.
Me: oh yes- it was amazing- yeast infection party time
Brown: should try to initiate those. Don't be down, women, you're all invited to a yeast infection party!
Me: YES! That is awesome!

Then my friend pointed out this amazing sign to me:

True to form, I posed with the 'I Can't Sleep' one, but there was another great one:

For reasons I cannot explain, I cracked up due to morbid ways I saw that one as being used.

Then we had D'Artagnan, which brought to mind The Three Musketeers and Slumdog Millionaire:

Then 'the secret of the twelve' - see Ibn Ezra to Deuteronomy 1:2- has come to exist in the form of an alcoholic beverage. Only intelligent people drink it.

And this made me think of Tubal-Cain.

כד כִּי שִׁבְעָתַיִם, יֻקַּם-קָיִן; וְלֶמֶךְ, שִׁבְעִים וְשִׁבְעָה. 24 If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.

~Genesis 4:24

But it gets a different picture I posed with sparkling sugar and informed the world that I am sparkling sugar! But here is the sugar on its own, lonesome without me, its personification.

Did you know that The Food Emporium will sell you half a pie? Now, what the hell is that? Who buys half a pie?

It gets better, though. Did you know there was such a thing as Italian Wedding Soup? Ah, what better day to be married than Angel's Day!

And someone abandoned their Dunkin Donuts beverage in the drink aisle. That's pretty depressing. Alas, poor drink! Never fear! The other cartons envy your beautiful transparent clothing, through which you can show off your lovely color. Feel proud, for you have not been abandoned, merely sent to live in a Home...this is the Nursing Home for the drinks, you see...

Now we're going to marvel at cakes and that shall be the end of this impromptu tour of The Food Emporium. Many happy returns, all- it's Angel's Day!

We're gonna party like we are angels...I'm gonna party like I'm an angel...oooh! ungawa! Chana's got the power...I said ooh! ungawa...Angel's Day for the win, y'all!


Anonymous said...

What a fun post!
Must you tease us with all that food and cakes?

The Cousin said...

I think the "what's wrong" kits are a creative idea (I've seen 'em before)--but why not just buy a box of bandaids for oneself?

I normally loathe going into Food Emporium, but your gallery makes it look like venturing in there could (potentially) be fun again.

The Cousin said...

(post script to the previous comment)

Also--don't bother with the "I can't sleep kit". It's just a bunch of Benadryl pills (which you shouldn't be using anyway).

As for Italian Wedding Soup, some of my coworkers seem to like it, so I've seen it quite a bit.

Personally I perfer the traditional chicken soup.

Taran/Brizingr said...

who would of thought of Angel Day except you!! :)

Anonymous said...

and only a walk thru supermarket--- my thanks!