This is the last night that I shall be sleeping in the dorms during the course of the official school year while serving as an official student. Sure, I'll probably be back in order to see friends, but there is something oddly sad and nostalgic about this. I didn't expect to feel anything; I'm good at moving on when it comes to anything school-related. There are other things that impact me more. But here I am and it's 5 AM and I've woken up...realizing this is really the last time. Last time, our last play, and after tonight I'm gone, off to walk different paths and dance to different tunes.
How much I have changed since I was that student all that time ago who wasn't sure whether to come here or the University of Chicago...and cried upon losing a dream.
"Do I want the University of Chicago? Yes, I do. I love their academics, I love their people, I love their facilities, their amenities, their libraries. I want everything there. I want my dream-Chana. But the only way I could go there is if I weren't Chana."
In many ways, I'm a completely different person. And there's something painful in leaving behind an environment that so totally changed you- which isn't to say that I won't still be around, just that I shall be doing different things.
And God, in this I owe you thanks, for you have blessed my path thus far. I am awaiting a long walk yet, through candle-lit forests of gold, emerald and diamond. I am certain there shall be swan boats to greet me one day.
In other news, when it comes to goodbyes, my friend showed me a beautiful song entitled "Goodbye, My Lover" by James Blunt. I think it's lovely and sad so I am going to show it to you. (Lyrics are on the right side of the YouTube video.)