Friday, May 22, 2009

Goodbye

This is the last night that I shall be sleeping in the dorms during the course of the official school year while serving as an official student. Sure, I'll probably be back in order to see friends, but there is something oddly sad and nostalgic about this. I didn't expect to feel anything; I'm good at moving on when it comes to anything school-related. There are other things that impact me more. But here I am and it's 5 AM and I've woken up...realizing this is really the last time. Last time, our last play, and after tonight I'm gone, off to walk different paths and dance to different tunes.

How much I have changed since I was that student all that time ago who wasn't sure whether to come here or the University of Chicago...and cried upon losing a dream.

Remember this?

"Do I want the University of Chicago? Yes, I do. I love their academics, I love their people, I love their facilities, their amenities, their libraries. I want everything there. I want my dream-Chana. But the only way I could go there is if I weren't Chana."

In many ways, I'm a completely different person. And there's something painful in leaving behind an environment that so totally changed you- which isn't to say that I won't still be around, just that I shall be doing different things.

And God, in this I owe you thanks, for you have blessed my path thus far. I am awaiting a long walk yet, through candle-lit forests of gold, emerald and diamond. I am certain there shall be swan boats to greet me one day.

In other news, when it comes to goodbyes, my friend showed me a beautiful song entitled "Goodbye, My Lover" by James Blunt. I think it's lovely and sad so I am going to show it to you. (Lyrics are on the right side of the YouTube video.)

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

ali vehatzlichi!

(i got my reply)
chayaiz

a reader said...

An interesting finale!You know how to keep your readers engaged!
Looking forward to your posts all summer and from grad school! Enjoy shavuos and keep on writing!

Gavi said...

If your writing is any indication, you have developed into the brilliant young scholar of your dreams... much hatzlacha in the future.

a friend from Stern said...

The future depends on what we do in the present.

Mahatma Gandhi

Chana,your future is going to be great ! And you know why it's going to be great? Because you have done so very much these past three years that I know you. Stern was lucky to have you. You gave so much of your creativity,commitment and succeeded in making the college a better place by spreading the positive through your numerous club participations and running The Observer. I'm so proud of you and so are many other people whose lives you touched by simply being you!
Have a great shabbos and see you around!

Jewish Atheist said...

I'm really glad it turned out so well for you!

Ezzie said...

Goodbye, and hello. :)

The Cousin said...

So where to next?

Erachet said...

:D

Anonymous said...

keep a note in each pocket - and look at one of them when you need to be reminded - hamevin yavin
hatzlacha and KT
Joel Rich

Josh said...

Mazal tov.I am glad you feel you made the right choice.Hatzlacha rabba.

nmf #7 said...

Mazal Tov- and may you go m'chayil l'chayil.

another Stern friend said...

Cnana, The Observer won't be the same without you! You've done someting so very extraordinary with it this year,writing about things that are taboo in the Orthodox world and yet succeeding in engaging the students in thought and debate. I really hope you get involved in another publication while in grad school and continue to shed your light on darkness. Thanks for being a good listener and a friend,too!

ShanaMaidel said...

I remember you as a prospie. In the U of C hillel.

I've stopped in on this blog.

There is a saying here- you choose this place because you love the masochism.

I remember- you never did. Though you did do very well at Stern.

rashi said...

Stern will miss you as much as you'll miss it!

Charlie Hall said...

Congratulations on all you've accomplished.

And may this only be the beginning.

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

"Do I want the University of Chicago? Yes, I do. I love their academics, I love their people, I love their facilities, their amenities, their libraries. I want everything there. I want my dream-Chana. But the only way I could go there is if I weren't Chana."I'm glad we gave good advice! :-)