Looking for God in humanity.
miss. w. you are losing it
Only insofar as Mortmain of I Capture the Castle was losing it when he wrote, "The cat sat on the mat..." several times.
NO!!! Why did you give in???
Anon 11:30pm, and you are so incredibly SANE!
The Doctrine of Feline SedentationHow should Christians deal with ‘The cat sat on the mat’ if it appeared inthe Bible?The LIBERAL THEOLOGIANS would point out that such a passage did not ofcourse mean that the cat sat literally on the mat. Also ‘cat’ and ‘mat’had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the textshould be interpreted according to the customs and practices of theperiod.This would lead to an immediate backlash from the EVANGELICALS. They wouldmake it an essential condition of faith that a real, living cat, being adomestic pet of the Felix Domesticus species, and having a whiskered headand furry body, four legs and a tail, did physically place its whole bodyon a floor covering, designed for that purpose, and which is on the floor,but not of the floor. The expression ‘on the floor’, but ‘not of thefloor’ would be explained in a leaflet.Meanwhile, the CATHOLICS would have developed the Festival of theSedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was whiteand majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its assumption tothe Great Cat Basket of Heaven. This is commemorated by the singing of theMagnificat, lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times. Thiswould cause a schism with the Orthodox Church which believes thattradition requires Holy Cats Day (as it is colloquially known), to bemarked by six candles and ringing the bell four times. This would partlybe resolved by the Cuckoo Land Declaration, recognising the traditionalvalidity of each.The CHARISMATICS would welcome the chance for the full experience of thefeline presence. This to be shown resting, on all four limbs, on the floorand meowing in the feline spirit. It would, naturally, only be possiblefollowing the singing, for some 30 minutes, of inspired songs such as ‘Ocat, cat, cat, come to our mat, mat, mat, catty, catty on matty, matty, wetruly believe we’re not really batty’; ‘Feline, we enthrone you, weproclaim you as cat’ and ‘If you scratch us we know that you’re here’. Thehouse church elements might even agree a common doctrine, after pauses, ina statement of may clauses.The remnant PRESBYTERIANS would formulate a Catminster Confession, with anuncertain priority of authority in relation to the true word of cat,stating the ‘Chief end and purpose of man is to stroke cat and enjoy hispresence forever.’ In worship Psalm paraphrases would be sung; such as ‘Ijoyed when to the mat of cat go up they said to me’ (Tune: Glasgow) and‘Lift up your head O mighty cat, your claws of sharpness shield’ (Tune: StGeorges, Edinburgh). The rump of Presbyterians in the Reformed Cattery(URC for brevity) would simply find the new doctrine irksome.Eventually, in the CHURCH OF ENGLAND, the House of Bishops would issue astatement on the Doctrine of Feline Sedentation. It would explain that,traditionally, the text describes a domestic feline quadruped superjacentto an unattached covering on a fundamental surface for determining itssalvific and eschatological significations, we follow the heuristicanalytical principles adopted in dealing with the Canine FenestrationQuestion (How much is that doggie in the window?) and the AffirmativeMusaceous Paradox (Yes, we have no bananas). And so on for 210 pages. Akey recommendation would be that Mattins become Mattons. The General Synodwould then commend this report as helpful resource material for clergy toexplain to the man in the pew the difficult doctrine of ‘the cat sat onthe mat’.
dk the point of this post sorry you lost me chana if you want to clarify that would in all actuality be greatgn all bye for now bw and all best tlBen Rosenfeld
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