Tuesday, December 18, 2007

On Sheidim, Vampires & Rabbi Auman

Class is less important than Sheidim. And Sheidim are pretty unimportant.

So began my day, and so it followed. I was late to Rabbi Auman's class and therefore was wearing a very entertaining outfit (picture light purple pajama pants, a green skirt and a Wicked sweatshirt.) I had thrown a black coat over this and walked into the elevator only to find...Rabbi Auman!
    "Good morning!" says he.

    "Good morning!" I say brightly. "Am I late?"

    "You are late- and so am I!"

    I beam. "Great, so the one day I decide to be late, you are, too- I'm very excited about this!"

    Rabbi Auman turns to the elevator at large. "Isn't she great to have in a class?"
But it just gets better...

Firstly, my friend looks at my attire and says "It's a celebration of winter and sleep deprivation." I thought that was classic.

Then, Rabbi Auman presents the rationalist point of view quite strongly (i.e. everything supernatural is sheer and utter nonsense, etc. What they called Sheidim we now call germs. I am pro-Midrashim and anti-Segulos, so we somewhat agree...) I argue with him about this, and he informs me that he has several strikes against him. He's yekke and his teachers were litvaks and therefore "ice-water runs in my veins." I inform him that he "sucks all the color out of everything" and accuse him of having "vampiric tendencies." Rabbi Auman laughs.

In the course of the discussion, we somehow come upon the fact that he likes chocolate. I am triumphant.
    Chana: "So you do have some color in your life!"

    Rabbi Auman: "Brown?"

    Chana: "I have flying carpets and Asmodeus; you have (scornfully) chocolate!"

    Rabbi Auman: "There's no contest, chocolate wins."
It was a highly entertaining class.

English class was even better; I declaimed a poem and wrote one in 30 seconds (oh, the brilliance of me!) We had to use certain words. Here it is:

She flinches as she looks in the mirror
Glittering secrets hidden within
Her last suffering, the way of all flesh
Beneath the burdens of life crushed
Her soul floats, little ghost fragments.

Hurrah for the ridiculous!


Anonymous said...

What a strange attire you were wearing this morning!
Nice post.

Wannabe Writer said...

Wow, that was one fun and entertaining class. :)

(And you really shouldn't follow feel-good Judaism. It's not all it's made out to be.)

arade89 said...

i think i'm gonna hafta have a talk w ur mama bout ur claims to segulot

Jew of the Desert said...

And which words in that poem did you not have to use, but put in anyways?

Scraps said...

I wish I could go to class with you, Chana. I would never cease to be entertained. :-D

the only way i know said...


Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

sounds like a fun class!

i am also a yekke litvak, but i think sheidim are cute. as long as you don't feed them after midnight. or get them wet.

Anonymous said...

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