Friday, September 21, 2007

Erev Yom Kippur

(Urchin's eating a candybar)

Me: (eyes widen) We have candybars?

Urchin: (snicker) Yeah, they're downstairs.

Dustfinger: You shouldn't have any; you have way too much junk at that school of yours.

Me: (to Urchin) I really don't think you should be eating that in your white shirt- you should eat dinner in your undershirt, then put your white shirt on; you don't want to get it stained. Also, you really need to comb your hair. (to Dustfinger) Can you comb his hair for him? It's sticking up in the back.

Dustfinger: It won't comb.

(I head to the basement.)

Mommy: (bending over oven in basement) I need you to taste the grapeleaves and tell me if they're ready!

Me: Oh...but I wanted to eat something milchigs...

Mommy: We're eating flaishigs in less than an hour!

Me: Okay- grapeleaves it is!

Mommy: (gives me grapeleaves on gold plastic plate. Urchin comes downstairs.)

Urchin: (thrusts candybars under my nose) Haha.

Me: I'm eating grapeleaves and they're good.

Taran: (goes to keyboard and starts playing a song)

Urchin: You're eating healthy; I'm not even eating healthy today (this is a huge departure from the norm)

Mommy: I don't trust you to take the grapeleaves out of the oven; Taran, go call Dustfinger over the intercom and make her come get them.

(Taran continues playing song on keyboard)

Me: Taran!

Taran: (goes to intercom) Dustfinger, come downstairs and take the pierogies out of the oven! (walks away, shakes head) Did I say pierogies?

Me: Just tell her to come downstairs!

Taran: Okay, okay. (to intercom) Dustfinger, come to the basement!

(insert image of Mother thundering "Family room!" It really is a family room, but we like calling it the basement)

Dustfinger (pounds down stairs, sees me): Hey! I want grapeleaves!

Me: Go ask Mommy if you can have them. (to Urchin and Tal, still by keyboard) You guys really shouldn't be eating dinner in your white shirts; you should eat in your undershirts.

Taran: We know.

Urchin: We're going to the mikvah, you chicken.

Me: (recalls custom of going to mikvah erev Yom Kippur) Oh.

Urchin: It's not the first time, either.

Me: Oh?

Urchin: Yeah, we went last year. You want to know who we saw there? (rattles off names)

Me: (still stuck on Urchin's epithet) Chicken?

Urchin: Yeah, it's my word.

[cut to upstairs discussion in kitchen; Taran is now eating a Baby Ruth]

Me: You're also eating candybars?

[Dustfinger and I have eaten grapeleaves; the boys have eaten candybars]

Me: That's not healthy, you know.

Dustfinger: You're one to talk! You ice-cream eater!

Me: You make that sound like an epithet.


Have a gemar chatimah tovah, everyone. Erev Yom Kippur in this house rocks. And Yom Kippur is a truly joyful day, for all our sins have been forgiven! We get to recreate ourselves through teshuva per Rabbi Soloveitchik, and now everything is beautiful again.


Anonymous said...

"And Yom Kippur is a truly joyful day, for all our sins have been forgiven!"

Why should your sins be forgiven when you have never forgiven me?

Truly, you have done many things to hurt me. I know it was not out of evil but more out of carelessness or simply the inability to do better.

There is one specific thing you have done that really hurt me very deeply. When I give, I give freely and with good will and with all my heart. I really did not want to know that you returned the books. It would have been better if you simply left them on the shelf, gave them away, or donated them to your public library or to any random stranger (homeless) on the street. I just did not want to know. For this I will forgive you.

I have celebrated many Jewish holidays but I never celebrate Yom Kippur and in fact I love to work on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is a special day and no matter what you do on this day, special things happen on this day. Everything is made straight.

On this day I am free to exist, because of your own conventions, you cannot delete me on this day.
I thank God for this. For today on Yom Kippur God gives me back my self respect and my dignity from those who tried to erase me and obliterate my soul from existence.

I hope one day you will realize that I am not a bad person.

Shana Tovah and


Anonymous said...