Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Color Dependancy

Never underestimate my devotion to Gossip Girl: I woke up at 6:30 AM in order to watch last night's episode.

Some people would find this pathetic, but I prefer to think of myself as enlightened. You see, the majority of you are dependant upon actual drugs. You need your caffeine and coffee fix. Without those roasted brown beans creamed with milk and stirred happily within your mug, you morph into terrifying monsters.

As for me, I just have color dependancy.

What, you ask, does this mean?

Mainly that I need bright, happy colors to make my morning a good one. So I dress myself in bright colors, watch TV shows that sport bright colors ("Gossip Girl" and "America's Next Top Model") and shop at stores which sell bright merchandise. If it's magenta or orange, it's calling my name.

In this way, I am not chemically charged by brown beverages and need never lament the lack of them. I just need to focus on the large Gucci advertisement in Times Swuare or the shockingly flourescent shoes that the kindly lady is wearing in an ill-advised effort to seem fashionable.

And that's why it's worth it to wake up at 6:30 in the morning to see whether Chuck and Blair got back together.



The Cousin said...

What is wrong with coffee?
(Though I stopped drinking it for another reason)--some of us drink it not for the caffeine but for the taste too!

Or there's your Uncle with his coffee substitute.... :)

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