I was out with a friend of mine tonight and there was a little votive candle on the table where we were sitting.
I leaned forward and unintentionally placed my hair in the fire. Suddenly half my head is on fire (voila) and I very calmly took my right hand, squeezed the fire out on the left side of my head, and then threw away the charred pieces of hair. It was amazing. I'm usually not even brave enough to put my finger through a candle flame, and here I was squeezing out a conflagaration on one side of my head. I didn't even burn my hand.
(How did I know what to do? All that I remembered was that a fire needs air to breathe and burn, and thus I decided to deprive the fire of oxygen by squeezing it out with my hand.)
"Well," said my friend, "if you can do that, you can certainly master putting contacts in your eyes."
And that's my happy story of this evening. It got better when the maitre'd type person came over to inquire as to what we were burning. He thought we had been throwing paper or something of that sort into the flame.
"Oh, just my hair," I replied nonchalantly. He did a double take.
(And don't worry- I'm not disfigured and you cannot even tell that any of my hair is missing.)