Monday, October 27, 2008

Things I Have Learned Of Late

1. An Artscroll book which is "adapted" includes examples and quotes that are not the work of the original author. Or in short, Artscroll Adaptation stands for "Includes My Own Personal Reflections and Clarifications On This Text, Which You Might Inadvertantly Assume Are Actually the Examples Offered By The Author, Heh, Heh, Heh." And if you are a poor student who would like an English translation and picks up an adaptation, woe betide you, because in short...*dramatic denoument* Artscroll lies!

2. Everything I need is ALWAYS in Gottesman!

3. Shake N'Bake Chicken is extremely unappetizing, to the point where I will eat salted-and-peppered tomato slices. (Tomatoes, people! I hate tomatoes!)

4. Preparing ahead of time only to forget before class just makes you irritated with yourself.

5. Rabbi Kanarfogel's test is going to run me over like an extremely well-oiled and charged up truck, leaving me flattened in the dust making faint moaning sounds of choke....squee....argh....eep.

6. I still don't know how to install the Hebrew language pack that would enable me to press ALT/ SHIFT and Shazam! I could type in Hebrew on my computer. And this makes my life inconvenient and meaningless.

7. Speaking up in Gemara class when you don't have the exact, precise wording on your lips is guaranteed to make you feel stupid (even when you actually do know the material, and just can't express it the way you want to.)

8. Laughing at yourself makes most things better.

9. I am not the only one hated by large, looming shadows who exist in strange universes not entirely of my own creation.

10. EVERYTHING THAT I NEED IS ALWAYS IN GOTTESMAN.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Agree w/ the dislike of tomatoes in #3. (Nor have I used Shake 'n bake in ages)

LML if you need help with #6. It's pretty easy to do.

Ezzie said...

8) Damn straight.

Anonymous said...

Who is Gottesman Lol only kidding well have a great night all best thanks a ton be well bye for now

Ben Rosenfeld

Lea said...

woopee for #2 and 10! i'll be sure to pass that on to the relevant folks ;)

Tzvi Feifel said...

"1. An Artscroll book which is "adapted" includes examples and quotes that are not the work of the original author."

Pardon my ignorance, but which books are these? I have yet to come across them...

"6. I still don't know how to install the Hebrew language pack...And this makes my life...meaningless."

Hmmm...does the word "extreme" mean anything to you? Either way, I gotta ask - what's keeping you from jumping???

"8. Laughing at yourself makes most things better."

It's about time you admit this! And does this mean that you're finally willing to forgive our inquiring (and mysterious) friend?

Anonymous said...

So, these things will pass. And be replaced by other worries!

You need ot work on the tomato thing... :)

rachel

The Rashblog said...

Tomatoes are yummy. This is fact, not opinion. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

And when you get to Gottesman, 1 out of every 3 books is missing. (Lea, you can pass that on to the relevant folks as well.)

Chana said...

I FIGURED OUT HOW TO ADD HEBREW TO MY COMPUTER: Here!

Anonymous said...

Difficulty in explaining is a difficulty in understanding.