Sunday, May 13, 2007

Because I'm a Lunatic, THAT'S Why

I just got back from the National Finals of Chidon HaTanach. It was held at the Middle School at Ramaz and I was a proctor.

For about thirty to sixty guys and girls in high school, to be exact. (Reason it's thirty to sixty is because there were about thirty in my room and thirty in another, and in the beginning I had to wander back and forth, but not so in the end because, thank God, Rabbi Jaffe found another proctor.)

Who were taking the Hebrew Chidon test, which is always fun when you're asked to translate words and don't know Hebrew (well, that's not so true; it actually went quite well and I knew most of the words.)

Incidentally, Chana's guide to trick highschoolers who are all of maybe two years younger than her into doing what she says: simply act very assertive. Works like a charm. I acted like I knew exactly what I was doing even though I had no idea, and it all went reasonably well. Reasonably having different meanings for different people, of course. In my case, it meant that I was on my feet the whole time, answering questions or pretending to, and smiling at kids while saying, "Sorry, I can't answer that because it's in quotes."

My little brothers Urchin and Tal took their Chidon tests- Urchin was the Regional Champion and Tal was three points away from having made either fourth or third place. I'm so proud of them- you have no idea.

But anway, the scantron broke down and so all of us- this means the people who run it, the YU guys and I and a lady named Yael- had to grade everything by hand. All those tests, frantically graded by hand. Oh my God. Not an experience one would want to repeat.

Especially since I have an (at least) ten-page paper due tomorrow plus two finals.

Deep breaths, Chana. Calm down. Deep breaths. Calm.

Plus I find out that the note I started on Facebook has caused me a flame war and assembled death threats. Ye gods. People. Calm down!

So why did I determine it would be smart to go proctor this test the day before a ten page paper and two finals? Because I'm a lunatic, that's why. And now I'm going a little insane and am looking at the mess that is my room and shutting my eyes to pretend not to see it and basically I am very, very stressed.

Any and all entertaining comments, specifically those that will make me laugh, will be appreciated. You might even make it onto my list of people that I wouldn't like to hurt at the moment. Be proud if you accomplish that.

Be very proud.

I learned so much over this weekend, but that's a tale for another time, I suppose. (That's when I can tell you about the frightening cavernous train-doors that try to eat you and how we missed the train and hung out downstairs for an hour and how SJ and another commentator here met my father, and how some random guy at J2 decided that I was married to my father (this while we were eating pizza and frenchfries), which was just lovely - I mean, do I look that old?!- and blessed him and told him he was Yosef HaTzaddik and more along those lines.)

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.


Anonymous said...

You mean that the J2 experience isn't worthy of a post of its own? :-)

Just kidding. Clearly, you haven't the time for that.

For entertainment, read SJ's poem on her blog about procrastination during finals. It's sure to cheer you up!

Irina Tsukerman said...

Good luck with your papers and final tomorrow! : )

Anonymous said...

Yeap,you are a lunatic!
However,knowing you...all will be well!

Anonymous said...


Can you enlighten those of us who don't have Facebook about your death-threat-inciting note? It sounds interesting.

Cheering you up--try to think back to the last time you danced in the rain. Or get a Slurpee.

Good luck on finals--they're almost over!


Erachet said...

Man walked into the Kotel.


Hehe, well, I tried :) Okay, how about these:

1. There once was a man who walked into a dentist's office (ouch! haha, just kidding) and announced, "I think I'm a moth." The dentist gave him a puzzled look and questioned, quite rightly, "then what are you doing in here?" (you see, the psychologist's office was just across the street) The man shrugged and answered, "the light was on."

2. What's the deal with steel wool? Is it steel or is it wool? Make up your mind, steel wool! Are there iron sheep jumping around in Scotland?

By the way, in a book of quotes that I have (that I like to call "The Wit Book")there is one which informs the world that "Sheep in Scotland faint if you jump out at them."

Well, I hope that cheered you up at least a bit. If anything, we have Silver tomorrow and her tests are SO straightforward, so that should at least make you happy!

haKiruv said...

I hate stress. Some people seem the thrive in it; I try to avoid it.

You write about the humanities and school life. How in the world does someone like you manage to get death-threats on Facebook?

Chana said...


Are you insinuating that I'm unable to be provocative in the intellectual sphere?

haKiruv said...


Absolutely not. You're very thought provoking and even touching sometimes. What I'm saying is: what could you possibly talk about there that would provoke someone to give you death-threats? Does someone dislike your critique of your latest read that much? :-) But, maybe you're really an underground anarchist leader. Who knows. :-)

Then again, I've had death-threats for posting quotes of Rebbe Nachman some places...