I just got back from the National Finals of Chidon HaTanach. It was held at the Middle School at Ramaz and I was a proctor.
For about thirty to sixty guys and girls in high school, to be exact. (Reason it's thirty to sixty is because there were about thirty in my room and thirty in another, and in the beginning I had to wander back and forth, but not so in the end because, thank God, Rabbi Jaffe found another proctor.)
Who were taking the Hebrew Chidon test, which is always fun when you're asked to translate words and don't know Hebrew (well, that's not so true; it actually went quite well and I knew most of the words.)
Incidentally, Chana's guide to trick highschoolers who are all of maybe two years younger than her into doing what she says: simply act very assertive. Works like a charm. I acted like I knew exactly what I was doing even though I had no idea, and it all went reasonably well. Reasonably having different meanings for different people, of course. In my case, it meant that I was on my feet the whole time, answering questions or pretending to, and smiling at kids while saying, "Sorry, I can't answer that because it's in quotes."
My little brothers Urchin and Tal took their Chidon tests- Urchin was the Regional Champion and Tal was three points away from having made either fourth or third place. I'm so proud of them- you have no idea.
But anway, the scantron broke down and so all of us- this means the people who run it, the YU guys and I and a lady named Yael- had to grade everything by hand. All those tests, frantically graded by hand. Oh my God. Not an experience one would want to repeat.
Especially since I have an (at least) ten-page paper due tomorrow plus two finals.
Deep breaths, Chana. Calm down. Deep breaths. Calm.
Plus I find out that the note I started on Facebook has caused me a flame war and assembled death threats. Ye gods. People. Calm down!
So why did I determine it would be smart to go proctor this test the day before a ten page paper and two finals? Because I'm a lunatic, that's why. And now I'm going a little insane and am looking at the mess that is my room and shutting my eyes to pretend not to see it and basically I am very, very stressed.
Any and all entertaining comments, specifically those that will make me laugh, will be appreciated. You might even make it onto my list of people that I wouldn't like to hurt at the moment. Be proud if you accomplish that.
Be very proud.
I learned so much over this weekend, but that's a tale for another time, I suppose. (That's when I can tell you about the frightening cavernous train-doors that try to eat you and how we missed the train and hung out downstairs for an hour and how SJ and another commentator here met my father, and how some random guy at J2 decided that I was married to my father (this while we were eating pizza and frenchfries), which was just lovely - I mean, do I look that old?!- and blessed him and told him he was Yosef HaTzaddik and more along those lines.)
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.