Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Learning to See

She introduced herself to me four times before I noticed her.
I didn't pay enough attention to her.
She was the one who reached out to me.
I started out the year yelling at him.
And I initially misjudged him.

So, what have I learned this year?

That I am quick to judge.
That I don't see people the first time around.

That I've needed a lot of second chances.

And that I've gotten them.

But I don't want to have to rely on the second chances.
And I'd like to be kinder the first time.

I am supposed to be compassionate; there I was dismissive.
I am supposed to listen; there I just walked on.

Now, they pursued me and I thank them for it.

But how long will it take until I learn to see?
And how long before I simply don't judge?


Anonymous said...

obviously we are missing the fact that this is how we are designed to operate. stop beating yourself over the head for being ... wait, what's the word again?

Irina Tsukerman said...

Well, sometimes it is necessary to judge in order to pick our company carefully. And first impressions can't always be perfect... which is why it sometimes takes time to get to know people better. I think, in general, most people wind up having to rely on many second chances, because it's not always possible to notice or understand everyone the first time you meet him.

Ezzie said...

CP - Normal. :)

On the bright side, you're definitely doing something right.

I've needed a lot of second chances.

And that I've gotten them.

A lot of people don't. While perhaps you may not be aware of them the first time around (which is perfectly common), they're aware - in a positive way - of you. So stop beating yourself up now. :)

Chana said...

You're all far too nice to me.
I don't deserve it.

Scraps said...

You're lucky to have had second (and sometimes more?) chances. Not everyone does, and of those who do, how many people mess up the second time around as well? At least you're learning from your past ways, and you have a resolve to change. Change is hard, but I think you can and WILL do it, because you very much want to be a kind, non-judgmental person.

David_on_the_Lake said...

Well. You've taken the crucial first step by recognizing what needs to be worked on.

I have a similar problem..

Chana said...

I should tell you- when I say that I'm judgmental, I don't mean in the kind of way where I look down on someone else and think they're a waste of my time. I mean that I sometimes connect the dots incorrectly. What I see is there; I am just wrong in understanding why it is there or what it adds up to.

Eli the High Priest did similarly. The letters chaf, shin, reish and hei did light up on the Urim Vetumim. The problem was with the way he interpreted them.

Anonymous said...

Chana, seriously, you need try and stop thinking ALL the time.
It's not healthy, you could like pull something :)

Anonymous said...

Chana, You are speaking lashon hara about yourself. That's against the Torah when u start speaking bad about yourself. Since you won't listen to your friends that u can't beat yourself up. Can u listen to the Torah?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, I believe that Chana is merely admitting that it is slightly difficult for her to always judge people favorably. She's thanking Hashem for giving her second chances to see what she missed in certain people.

Chana said...

Huzzah my sister!

Love you always.

Anonymous said...

Dustfinger... If she is doing that then it is ok i just don't want her to beat herself up and annonce to public that she didn't judge favorably to people.

Chana said...

Last anonymous,

Thanks so much for looking out for me; you're sweetness personified.