"Grapes and their issues?" I thought indignantly. "What the hell, man? Who are grapes to complain? I mean, here I sit, having been told to leave my workplace by wellmeaning colleagues, my nose shot to hell, dripping like a leaky faucet, my eyes glazed over, my head feeling dull and foggy- and grapes have issues? I've just waited in the wet for a half an hour, the bus didn't come on time, and I narrowly escaped being drenched in a rainstorm... tell me, I ask, what kinds of issues do grapes have, exactly? It's like those Grapes of Wrath- I mean, whoever heard of wrathful grapes? What kind of ridiculous title for a book is that, anyway?"
I then reread the title. It said: 'Graphs and their Uses.'
Oh.
~
(If you enjoyed this post, please post a potential issue that a grape might have in the comments.)
12 comments:
Getting squished for wine sounds like it might be an issue... ;]
Feel better!
My friend's a grape. You're right. He says he has no issues!
Being covered in pesticides would be a downer for me.
All those NyQuil pretenders: you have nothing to do with grapes! Stop destroying our carefully-crafted reputation!
There is a story that once John Steinbeck's wife visited China. In a library or bookstore or something, she asked the employee if they carried any of her husband's works. The man replied, "Oh yes, we have the Angry Raisins."
Don't know if it's true, but I read it in a Bill Bryson book, I think.
The day ended hot and dry, like most days in this town. I should have gone home, but the heat had sluggish and I was comfortably raisoning in my well worn leather office chair.
With a dispirited tlink of dust-choked bells, the dame rolled in to my office. She was a looker: a perfect spheroid with a uniform light pink blush and a firm skin. Definitely not from around here, I thought, probably one of those foreign types – a Valdiguié or something.
"Mr. Munson, ya gotta help me," she gasped, "Abrusco and his boys are after me, and I got nowhere else to go."
It's always the pretty ones... as if I didn't have enough problems already.
it is a known phenomenon that black widows can be harboured in grape vines....this would be be problematic for grape eaters.....
http://insects.about.com/b/2009/01/06/whats-hiding-in-your-grapes.htm
If running a survey of what issues grapes have, their intensity, how often they have them, you could use a graph to plot the issues grapes may have.
didn't you mean "gripes and their causes" :-)
What did the grape do when he was stepped on by an elephant? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
When grapes catch a cold they refuse to use Kleenex or any other brand. They only use Puffs with Aloe.
Ha! Grapes And Their Tissues!
These comments ought to cheer you up when you realize that you are one of very few sane people out there...
Get well soon!
Lack of anesthesia during the juicing process?
Refuah Shelayma!
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