Sunday, May 18, 2008

Packing, Eden Wok and Scarsdale Cousins

Having eaten nothing but 10 M&Ms this morning, I have...

1. Taken two finals (English & Chumash)
2. Gone to Staples three times (twice successfully, once before it opened)
3. Carried back loads of boxes by myself (strapped onto my arms)
4. Done all my laundry
5. Returned the vast majority of my library books
6. Packed up most of my room.

And that last is what is depicted so vividly below. Enjoy.



Of course, my Scarsdale cousins arrived to rescue me from this mundane task, and so began the annual torture of their darling cousin. This time it took the form of ribbing me about the fact that I apparently have no friends, determining that random guys on my digital camera are clearly my boyfriend, and later deciding that one day I will be homeless and wandering the streets. Yechiel basically points at a whole pack of garbage bags and goes- "Yeah, Olivia, so that's where you'll be living one day."
Oh, and let's not neglect the part of this where Dustfinger breaks in to tell really random jokes to me that I don't understand, but which Yechiel and Dov do understand, so that they must both interpret for me. Dustfinger finds this hilarious...Also, I have now gleaned that Dov's philosophy is to live in the present- in which case he is never worried by anything.

Add to this the policemen with guns and tasers who were right outside of Eden Wok and good times were had by all.

But Yechiel could not adequately conclude his day without making sure that I was marked forevermore:

Yechiel has decided I am both edible and kosher. He further states this is something of which to be proud. And he is now officially sketchy (perhaps even sketchier than the guy he has decided is my boyfriend- take that. *Evil laughter*)
Alas, he shall forever look down on me for having packed up my life in six boxes. He prefers the non-portable life. Ah well.
I love you guys!

24 comments:

Lurker said...

Great cousins you have!
You pack nicely/will make a good wife...
What are your sumer plans?

Yechiel said...

wow. I got home an hour later, your mom has called me and was like so i heard what you were doing with you and i was like oh ok (this is akward)
and then shes like well im so happy for you. (Note your mother says that i did good and wants to see the picture of of us in your dorm that would have gotten you kicked out.)
anyway, my mom is now putting in your mold filled plastic container thing in my shower
anyway, now i have to go get yelled at for being mean to you. dont call youll just make it worst.

Love you
Yechiel

P.S. i sent you a quater so that you dont need to go looking on the streets anymore for some money.

a regular yid said...

Sounds like your cousin Yechiel has a good sense of humor. It's good you have relatives who care so much about you

Greg said...

A good time was had by all! lol

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

"Alas, he shall forever look down on me for having packed up my life in six boxes. He prefers the non-portable life. Ah well."- In accordance with the teachings of 'our holy master' Epicurus (אפיקורוס) one should always separate themselves from luxuries, viz. 'anything' not of total necessity. The reason for this obviously being that upon the possible lack of these luxuries, one's happiness will be lacking as well. One who is overly stable in their place of residence would have a hard time adjusting to a more transient lifestyle.

(And no, I'm not just saying that because I was homeless for two months in LA last summer!)

"P.S. i sent you a quater so that you dont need to go looking on the streets anymore for some money."- I don't see what's difficult to understand about this sense of humor...

Anonymous said...

Ten M&M's aren't enough, Chana. Next time throw in a brownie, Mr. Goodbar, and sparkling grape juice, or some other stuff you strangely consider 'food'...

~L.M.

Anonymous said...

If you miss your flight, which I hope you do. I'd be happy drive you home to Chicago. There is a catch, you pay for gas.
850 miles ($150 oneway) Travel time will be between 12.5 and 13 hours and much of the way is scenic and inspiring.

If only you were friendly with me...

Anonymous said...

I am enormously jealous. One year ago you stated that you don't go on dates. Now you do. And you associate with worthless guys who will be out of your life after they have taken from you. I pray that every guy you meet, the head of his ugly circumcised dick falls off like the head of calf that you all slaughtered. FOR I AM JEALOUS OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS that are obtained CHEAP. Better yet, I hope your boyfriend date rapes and your heart be broken forever! Maybe then you will understand how pompous and arrogant you are and how all your standards are double standards! God willing! AMEN!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Scarsdale sucks!

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

wa-wa-weewawow! (Borat reference); this guy is really jealous of Jews! Looks like some 'goy' who was turned down by 'Olivia' upon asking her out or something..

Listen ma- you think Jews are cool? Most Jews think they suck, and think white American Christians are cool and they're outcasts, so..?

(I'm mean, my writing to you is not to suggest that you haven't overdosed on LSD beyond what was thought to be physically possible before writing this, but...)

lurker said...

Anon 12:23am,
you are SICK!

Yosef said...

I must say that this blog never fails to attract all sorts of attention...

Ira and Isabella said...

Your mother and I have decided to disown you because you are humiliating our family's name on the internet and we disapprove of the way you conduct yourself in the world, as your parents we are deeply ashamed of you. You are a whore. Please don't ever come back home to us. We will send you the bill for school after this semester is over.

Yours truly,
Your disgraced parents.

Yair said...

To the one posting above me:

You are an utterly sick, wretched creature. Your comments are revolting. Why don't you stop spewing your garbage and go get yourself a real life? I'm sure it'll beat the one you have now, sitting by the computer thinking who to impersonate next.

You disgust me.

Greg said...

What is the matter with you person two posts above me? Do you not have a soul? That was disgusting! Also, Mr. Jealous, go to a hospital like Bellvue, that have a nice white coat for you and a free vacation to stay in a white room with no windows

rivkayael said...

Chana, you may want to think about moderating comments. This is a wonderful family blog unfortunately soiled by some of your weirder commenters.

Elster said...

Out of curiosity, what makes this a "family blog"? Is it the fictional stories abuot death and loss of family members or the occasional posts about sex?

SimchaGross said...

Elster,
I am not sure, but I assume your tone is sarcastic. If so: why do discussions about either family or sex prevent this from being a "family blog"? If in fact a family member dies, does that make the other siblings and loved ones no longer a family? If a parent discusses sex with his or her child, does that immediately cut all of natural familial bonds between them? Moreover, Chana's posts about "death in family" or "sex" usually have a literary quality. As you yourself noted, they are pieces of fiction when the former, discussions of sexual PROPRIETY when dealing with the latter. Fictional stories of family members dying prevent something from being "family friendly"? Well, you have just damned Great Expectations, Wuthering Heights, Eugene Onegin, Tanakh (In order: Cain kills Abel, Abraham loses Sarah, Jacob mourns for years over the supposed loss of Joseph, Judah loses his wife and children, the entire "Family of Israel" is smitten numerous times in the desert, Yiftach slaughters his own daughter... get the picture?), Harry Potter, and thousands of other books, as well as those who read them, to a life without familial relations. Similarly, anyone who has turned on a TV in the past decade, and invariably seen or heard discussions or scenes where sex is being discussed or even performed, is immediately confined to a world without family and perhaps even friends. Indeed, even loving couples are no longer family; after all, they not only speak about, but even engage in sex! Were you trying to make a point?
Perhaps (hopefully) your tone was not sarcastic, and you were actually curious as to whether Chana's posts about sex and death in family were indicative of the fact that her blog was "Family friendly." To this I would reply - maybe you have morbidly strange luck, but the majority of Chana's posts do NOT deal with sex or dead family members. Perhaps you should read her post, say, about the Zoo, or walking in the part, or about Love (yes, there is a difference between sex and love), or friends (I had the honor of being the subject of one of her posts), or upcoming or past Torah or intellectual events, or any other of hundreds of topics that she has blogged about. Perhaps somewhere in that large stock pile there will be one or two blogs that may render this a "family blog." Then again, perhaps friends, Torah, and Zoos are hardly "family friendly" these days...

rivkayael said...

What Simcha said--moreover, my brothers and I grew up reading "The Diary of Anne Frank" from the age of 10 or thereabouts. None of us understood the book and my parents refused to explain it to us in all its horror. Some of the themes in the book are also what you would define as "family friendly". Still, it was around the house and we were encouraged to read it.

Perhaps adults like to have this sanitized view of what goes on in the head of a child and impose a "what should be" on the child's thoughts. However, this is very often not the case. Chana is one of the few people of her age (or relatively close to the age of a high-schooler and close to younger people) who feels free and confident enough to voice her opinions and feelings. For this she should be applauded. Besides--how many people of her age think about Torah, religion and philosophy connecting to it on an emotional level while maintaining some level of academic integrity? Not so many, I think.

Elster said...

Guys, relax. My comment was not meant to be sarcastic (ok, maybe a little sarcastic, but I was actually being serious). I enjoy Chana's blog very much. I think she's a very talented. I merely questioned calling her blog a "family blog".

You may now return to your regularly scheduled bashing of the crazy guys who commented above.

SimchaGross said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SimchaGross said...

Elster,
We know that you "merely questioned calling her blog a family blog." Whether you enjoy her blog or not is irrelevant. You made a statement, and we responded accordingly. Telling us to "Relax," ignoring our points and rehashing your controversial comment(by that I mean the comment which caused "controversy" not a comment that in itself was controversial) is rather pointless. You asked a question "what makes this a family blog" and we responded. This is a discussion board, which is meant to be used for discussions. You started a discussion, we commented, and this would be your chance to explain why you either agree or disagree with our categorization, or to remain silent altogether, but not to simply ignore what others say and then rehash your former comments.

Elster said...

Ok, thanks for commenting!