Yes. I wanted it in first person so that you could hear Lisa speaking about her father first-hand. Then the switch in the dream because I want it to be like someone looking in from the outside, and the ending also should be from Michael's perspective, and hence the focus on the third person.
"Sticks and Stones" mentioned in the story, and other books by Miriam Adahan are worth reading, even if one is not as conflicted and confused as the protagonist :)
Here is a google link to excerpts from the book mentioned:
After rereading I still dont know if Lisa's dad is real..
A few notations
Michael, the one she turns to, the one who understands her. The one her touches her even though he should know that it promotes her feelings of self disgust, whom does he love more her or himself?
Is a Lisa an alter ego of somebody we know...she seems familiar...strong enough to hide her emotions but strong enough to cry.
overwhelmingly beautiful. one query, though: did you shift from first person to third person on purpose? if so, why?
ReplyDeleteshualah elisheva,
ReplyDeleteYes. I wanted it in first person so that you could hear Lisa speaking about her father first-hand. Then the switch in the dream because I want it to be like someone looking in from the outside, and the ending also should be from Michael's perspective, and hence the focus on the third person.
chana:
ReplyDeletei re.read the piece keeping those shifts in perspective in mind. i have to say - it really works.
"Sticks and Stones" mentioned in the story, and other books by Miriam Adahan are worth reading, even if one is not as conflicted and confused as the protagonist :)
ReplyDeleteHere is a google link to excerpts from the book mentioned:
http://books.google.com/books?id=rGnr-jiCtr8C&printsec=frontcover&dq=miriam+adahan&hl=en&ei=W6ZqTMaAEIH88Abr1eHiAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CEEQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q&f=false
After rereading I still dont know if Lisa's dad is real..
ReplyDeleteA few notations
Michael, the one she turns to, the one who understands her.
The one her touches her even though he should know that it promotes her feelings of self disgust, whom does he love more her or himself?
Is a Lisa an alter ego of somebody we know...she seems familiar...strong enough to hide her emotions but strong enough to cry.
Chana, I loved it. So powerful
ReplyDeleteChana,
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm completely blown away. This story touched me in a really deep way. Thank you..
Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteWow. that was intense.
ReplyDeleteDid Lisa's father think she was her mother? Maybe she is conflicted from playing two roles in her life.
Can you continue this story? It would be lovely to read a (happier) sequal.
Also - you must really love the name Lisa - it is all over your writing!
Thanks for the lovely story.