tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post247994688627036807..comments2024-03-18T03:40:39.185-04:00Comments on The Curious Jew: Cult of Personality & Female AbusersChanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655144434904957767noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-71316210870946583822012-02-21T22:44:35.302-05:002012-02-21T22:44:35.302-05:00Fuzzy mable is a world here multiple articles and ...Fuzzy mable is a world here multiple articles and HD movies<br /><br />http://www.fuzzymable.com/Adminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11734760051046824675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-41293943604635134122012-02-10T09:13:44.401-05:002012-02-10T09:13:44.401-05:00As a lot of other people have said, I think it'...As a lot of other people have said, I think it's easier to make a case against the male abusers because it is often much more obvious and flagrant. Physical and sexual abuse are much easier to pinpoint and say - *this* behavior is abusive and must be stopped. Women tend to be more subtle, more insidious in their abuse, especially if it's something going on in public. And I agree with Beth - the female teacher who uses religion/tzniut as an abusive mechanism claims G-d on her side, and it's much harder to speak up when you're getting the message that if you do you're not just questioning a teacher but G-d Himself. It is far harder to rebel against abuse when it is a) so hard to prove and b) there is that religious element tied into it.<br /><br />The interesting thing about the Rav Bina articles is that it seems that, while certainly far more extreme than most women might act in public, the allegations against him are also overwhelmingly of emotional abuse. There are some elements of physical as well, but most of the behaviors and incidents seem to involve public humiliation, controlling, being verbally ripped to shreds, etc. If this is taken seriously, perhaps that will open a door to girls who feel they are being emotionally abused, by either male or female teachers.Scrapshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15911315552965685448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-36483075247263897712012-02-10T02:33:45.618-05:002012-02-10T02:33:45.618-05:00On a practical level the way modesty is often taug...On a practical level the way modesty is often taught doesn't help. Note: I say the way it is taught, not the actual concept of tzinut.<br /><br />Judaism has a lot of other principles - like not being silent when others are hurt. But in certain schools these take a back seat to the overwhelming message "Thou shalt be modest" and the particular way it is defined for women.<br /><br />Girls are told not only that they must cover up, but also that they must not make a fuss. All around them, people who do are called provocateurs. Add that to the fact that the abusive teacher says she has God on her side and that you lack faith if you aren't being modest according to her definition.<br /><br />In short, speaking up means one is a faithless, arrogant, unfeminine person who only wants to stir up pain for others.<br /><br />What would facilitate speaking up in such a context? <br /><br />That's not just a rhetorical question by the way. Noting a problem is fine, but if one wants to go beyond upset and worry it is important to start thinking about solutions.Beth Frank-Backmanhttp://ifshecryout.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-48604056858640422062012-02-09T23:49:43.751-05:002012-02-09T23:49:43.751-05:00there are plenty of female abusers - most people c...there are plenty of female abusers - most people call them shadchansmale 1150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-26065158661315908232012-02-09T23:33:01.899-05:002012-02-09T23:33:01.899-05:00though emotional abuse by teachers is not right, i...though emotional abuse by teachers is not right, i think that right now they are concentrating on stopping physical and sexual abuse of children by rabbis. its not that only a man could do these things , but that there are known men who are doing these things and that they need to be stopped.frum single femalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592899863773572708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-79239920240450800632012-02-09T15:39:06.061-05:002012-02-09T15:39:06.061-05:00Regarding female abusers, from a recent interview ...Regarding female abusers, from a recent <a href="http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/was_hasidic_jew_but_broke_free_IeRSVA4eX8ypg4Ne8cBdSK" rel="nofollow">interview</a> with Deborah Feldman:<br /><br /><i>My principal would walk by and slap me on the ass and be like, “Your skirt shows too much.”</i><br /><br />(note: I have issues with the interview and the way she portrays things, and I'm not endorsing her book, I'm just quoting a relevant line.)Philohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02077376696343791699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-75179367883752721082012-02-09T15:33:18.596-05:002012-02-09T15:33:18.596-05:00"I do not think disturbing peace between fami..."I do not think disturbing peace between family members and students should be the role of a rabbi."<br /><br />Bingo!Philohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02077376696343791699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-52677061122371801122012-02-09T14:57:29.117-05:002012-02-09T14:57:29.117-05:00"they feel like they are finally experiencing..."they feel like they are finally experiencing authentic Judaism"<br /><br />Authentic Judaism is not the isolation of a year in seminary, it is living a life of Torah and mitzvot in the real world. <br /><br />That we "feel" differently is a manifestation of non-Jewish influence -- Judaism was never, at least until very recent times, been an isolationist religions.Charlie Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17667135360784254574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-13550987998860901152012-02-09T14:13:47.885-05:002012-02-09T14:13:47.885-05:00There was a rebbetzin abuser in Australia who was ...There was a rebbetzin abuser in Australia who was reported to the authority. I suppose at least as far as flagrant sexual abuse against minors, I suspect it is more common coming from men. <br />From a specific Jewish perspective, as far as psychological abuse goes, I suspect that many of the female teachers are also taught to subordinate themselves to the rebbeim, and thus don't take the active role themselves a la Aryeh Binah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-35394663786603597742012-02-09T13:39:24.693-05:002012-02-09T13:39:24.693-05:00Two possible theories with regard to your second p...Two possible theories with regard to your second point would go as follows:<br />1) In the frum world, there are more men teaching, because they can teach at boys', girls', and mixed schools. However, women typically teach at only girls' and mixed schools. Therefore, there would likely be more male abusers in the population.<br />2) Following up on 1, perhaps the boys have more courage to 'out' their abusers. Assuming a minimal amount of mixed schools in the frum world, and that girls would feel more violated by a male abuser, you have boys reporting men and girls reporting men, yet girls are perhaps a bit too timid to go the extra step to reporting women.Beelzebubnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12970718.post-41440279850543887092012-02-09T13:25:50.670-05:002012-02-09T13:25:50.670-05:00Good point, great post. I never thought about this...Good point, great post. I never thought about this. <br /><br />It is possible that men abusers are more common, and thus more likely to be discovered. Also, the fact that female abusers are less aggressive and more passive-aggressive means that it would be harder to prove or pinpoint a case against a woman abuser.<br /><br />Also, what books that you have read are you talking about?JTDnoreply@blogger.com