Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Solomon's Tikkun: The Restoration of Justice

Once upon a time there was a young boy crowned only through the efforts of fierce protectors. Warned by his ailing father, he found himself surrounded by enemies. Summarily, he banished one, placed one under close guard and executed another. Weary of his efforts, at last his kingdom was won. But a challenge remained: he needed to win the hearts of his people.

This boy's name was Solomon.

When we read the scene where God appears to Solomon in a night vision, it appears as though part of a fairy tale, as if Solomon were visited by a djinn.  And though he can choose anything, anything at all, the youth, wise beyond his years, makes the following request:
ט  וְנָתַתָּ לְעַבְדְּךָ לֵב שֹׁמֵעַ, לִשְׁפֹּט אֶת-עַמְּךָ, לְהָבִין, בֵּין-טוֹב לְרָע:  כִּי מִי יוּכַל לִשְׁפֹּט, אֶת-עַמְּךָ הַכָּבֵד הַזֶּה.9 Give Thy servant therefore a listening heart to judge Thy people, that I may discern between good and evil; for who is able to judge this Thy great people?'
But why this request? 

The answer that immediately comes to mind is that this is indicative of Solomon's wisdom. He cares for the people and wishes to rule them well. He understands, even at this tender age, that he exists beyond himself, that he is a servant of the nation as well as their leader.

But there is something deeper here.

And that can be uncovered through referencing all of the events prior. Solomon's story begins in context of his brother Adonijah's rebellion. Adonijah has claimed all the trappings of his brother Absalom but he does not share the vision of Absalom. He does not have a reason to rebel. He is simply tired of his weak, dying father. He wishes to seize power for the sake of it. But due to the textual echoes, we, the readers, are put in mind of Absalom. And there is a reason for that...

For Absalom did have a reason to rebel. It was a very compelling reason. 

You see, Absalom had witnessed a terrible miscarriage of justice. His sister was raped by the crown prince, Amnon. And though their father was very wroth, he did not actually do anything. Amnon was not imprisoned. He was not executed. His actions were not checked. And so Absalom took it upon himself to right that wrong, to correct that miscarriage of justice. He arranged for a sheepshearing that was anything but, and at that ostensible celebration he murdered Amnon.

Then he fled to Egypt because he knew his father would not see that justice had been served, but rather would seek to harm him.

Eventually, he returns. But even when he is reunited with his father, he realizes that David does not have the passion for justice that Absalom has. David does not burn with that bright sacred fire. But Absalom is incandescent with it.

And so he acts.

א  וַיְהִי, מֵאַחֲרֵי כֵן, וַיַּעַשׂ לוֹ אַבְשָׁלוֹם, מֶרְכָּבָה וְסֻסִים; וַחֲמִשִּׁים אִישׁ, רָצִים לְפָנָיו.1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom prepared him a chariot and horses, and fifty men to run before him.
ב  וְהִשְׁכִּים, אַבְשָׁלוֹם, וְעָמַד, עַל-יַד דֶּרֶךְ הַשָּׁעַר; וַיְהִי כָּל-הָאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר-יִהְיֶה-לּוֹ-רִיב לָבוֹא אֶל-הַמֶּלֶךְ לַמִּשְׁפָּט, וַיִּקְרָא אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֵלָיו וַיֹּאמֶר אֵי-מִזֶּה עִיר אַתָּה, וַיֹּאמֶר, מֵאַחַד שִׁבְטֵי-יִשְׂרָאֵל עַבְדֶּךָ.2 And Absalom used to rise up early, and stand beside the way of the gate; and it was so, that when any man had a suit which should come to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said: 'Of what city art thou?' And he said: 'Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.'
ג  וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו אַבְשָׁלוֹם, רְאֵה דְבָרֶיךָ טוֹבִים וּנְכֹחִים; וְשֹׁמֵעַ אֵין-לְךָ, מֵאֵת הַמֶּלֶךְ.3 And Absalom said unto him: 'See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.'
ד  וַיֹּאמֶר, אַבְשָׁלוֹם, מִי-יְשִׂמֵנִי שֹׁפֵט, בָּאָרֶץ; וְעָלַי, יָבוֹא כָּל-אִישׁ אֲשֶׁר-יִהְיֶה-לּוֹ-רִיב וּמִשְׁפָּט--וְהִצְדַּקְתִּיו.4 Absalom said moreover: 'Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man who hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!'
ה  וְהָיָה, בִּקְרָב-אִישׁ, לְהִשְׁתַּחֲו‍ֹת, לוֹ; וְשָׁלַח אֶת-יָדוֹ וְהֶחֱזִיק לוֹ, וְנָשַׁק לוֹ.5 And it was so, that when any man came nigh to prostrate himself before him, he put forth his hand, and took hold of him, and kissed him.
ו  וַיַּעַשׂ אַבְשָׁלוֹם כַּדָּבָר הַזֶּה, לְכָל-יִשְׂרָאֵל, אֲשֶׁר-יָבֹאוּ לַמִּשְׁפָּט, אֶל-הַמֶּלֶךְ; וַיְגַנֵּב, אַבְשָׁלוֹם, אֶת-לֵב, אַנְשֵׁי יִשְׂרָאֵל.  {פ}6 And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment; so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
Absalom's cause is justice. He is a passionate advocate and he is convincing. He tells the Israelites there is no one there to listen to them. The Israelites believe that they, too, would be better served were Absalom their High Judge in lieu of David. Of Absalom it is written that he "stole the hearts of the men of Israel." Absalom's rebellion was not a plot countenanced by only one tribe, Judah, and by men in high places, Joab and Evyatar. No. Absalom's rebellion was the people's rebellion.

And so when Solomon finishes managing the burdens laid upon him because of his father's past...punishing Joab, Shimi ben Gera, showing mercy to Evyatar and rewarding the Barzillai...he realizes he is not done. His father was many things, a military man, a Godstruck man, a man who created a kingdom out of blood and sweat. But he was not, or at least he was not in the eyes of the people, a just man.

And so when Solomon asks for a listening heart to judge the people, he is not just being astute. He is actively rectifying a grave mistake on his father's part. David lost the people because he was not seen as just. In contrast, Solomon goes out of his way to be just. He is willing to give Adonijah a second chance- but he also carries out swift justice when Adonijah breaks his bond. He asks God to help him remain just. He opens his courtroom to prostitutes. Solomon has just lived through an attempted coup by Adonijah. He has punished Shimi ben Gera, who appeared on the scene in the time of Absalom. And so he thinks about Absalom. He recognizes the threat to his kingdom, the threat to the throne, his father's one great failing. And so, when he speaks to God, he speaks not only for himself but to fix what was broken. To mend what was flawed.

He asks God to help him be the kind of king the people wanted. The king Absalom wished to be, but could not be. The king David showed himself not to be, when he did not punish Amnon at once.

Solomon is wise because he learns from history, and he heeds the echoes of the past. He understands who he must become to retain his people's trust. It is what makes it all the more ironic and tragic when his son Rechavam is unable to hear the people's cries.

Solomon's request is flavored by the past. The monarchic enterprise cannot succeed unless Solomon can restore justice to the throne. And so he acts to mend, to build. He begins his monarchy as one that will heal the rifts that existed in the past. That is what makes it all the more devastating when he later chooses to destroy, building the Millo and breaking David's Breach, creating new rifts. Wisest of all men, Solomon needs to maintain balance between repairing David's legacy and creating his own. Is it any wonder it became too challenging? He sought to create, and his creativity was astonishing. But at one point, his creativity overflowed, tipping the balance. He built, but not on land that truly belonged to him. It was, instead, public property, land upon which the Israelites pitched their tents when gathering for their pilgrimages. He built, and in so doing destroyed the history that came before. His fatal mistake, his eventual downfall, comes due to this. The monarch who began by learning from what came before his time fell at last because he thought himself above those events.

It is history which enwraps, envelops, moves and binds us. Knowing how to learn from it...that is the question.

Yisro and the Mitzri

There is a midrash which suggests that Pharoah spoke his words "Come, let us outsmart them" to three advisers. These advisers were Yisro, Iyov and Bilam respectively. Yisro passionately argued against the monarch's plan. Iyov kept silent. And Bilam vociferously agreed.

Each protagonist meets a doom befitting his actions.

As I was reading through a particular scene, however, I looked at it with new eyes. If we say Yisro was a refugee, someone fleeing Pharoah's justice, it makes sense that Moshe would end up with him. Moshe would need a guide, a mentor, someone to show him the way. In this understanding, it is Yisro who mentors Moshe, who teaches him about monotheism and God, and in effect, who both heals him and prepares him for his encounter with God at the Burning Bush.

But it's the scene after Moshe saving Yisro's daughters that really intrigues me. Here's how the dialogue goes:
יח  וַתָּבֹאנָה, אֶל-רְעוּאֵל אֲבִיהֶן; וַיֹּאמֶר, מַדּוּעַ מִהַרְתֶּן בֹּא הַיּוֹם.18 And when they came to Reuel their father, he said: 'How is it that ye are come so soon to-day?'
יט  וַתֹּאמַרְןָ--אִישׁ מִצְרִי, הִצִּילָנוּ מִיַּד הָרֹעִים; וְגַם-דָּלֹה דָלָה לָנוּ, וַיַּשְׁקְ אֶת-הַצֹּאן.19 And they said: 'An Egyptian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds, and moreover he drew water for us, and watered the flock.'
כ  וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל-בְּנֹתָיו, וְאַיּוֹ; לָמָּה זֶּה עֲזַבְתֶּן אֶת-הָאִישׁ, קִרְאֶן לוֹ וְיֹאכַל לָחֶם.20 And he said unto his daughters: 'And where is he? Why is it that ye have left the man? call him, that he may eat bread.'
It occurred to me that perhaps the women stress Moshe's identity because they know their father is a refugee. "An Egyptian saved us from the shepherds," they say, and their tone is one of wonder. But perhaps it is also one of concern. This is unlike the habits of the Egypt their father knows, the Pharaoh who enslaves rather than frees, who cares little for justice. Perhaps this Egyptian is here seeking their father- perhaps this kindness is a clever facade. For all they know, this man is an assassin, come to deliver the king's justice.

But it is Yisro who teaches them that fear ought not to hold one back. He is surprised by their concern, chagrined that they would allow the man's nationality to blind them from his actions. Yisro assumes the best, believes the man to be authentic, not a dissembler. He rebukes his daughters, asking them why they have not invited the man home, and telling them to return to find the man and bring him so that he may eat. Despite having been wronged by Egyptians (or by Pharoah himself), despite needing to flee in order to survive, Yisro does not paint everyone with one brush. There can be kind Egyptians. He does not allow his one experience to color everything else.

And so we ought to learn from Yisro, who perhaps took a risk. He decided to judge a man based on what he had done- his actions- not based on his birth or nationality. We can control what we do with our free will; we cannot control the color of our skin, the language of our birth or the blood that flows in our veins. It is our actions that make us who we are- and that is the lesson and legacy of Yisro.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Our Community's Shame: The Alienated LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jew

Today, a brave student named Joshua Tranen wrote an article in The Commentator entitled "Why I left YU, and Why I'm Writing About It Now."

Joshua is gay, and that is the sole reason he is now studying at Yale University. He did not feel safe at Yeshiva University. We, members of the Orthodox community, have allowed that to happen. And thus, it is up to us to fix it.

When I was in high school, I underwent some very challenging experiences. I was a seeker, someone who asked a lot of questions, attending a school on the Bais Yaakov spectrum. As you can imagine, this situation led to clashes. I was disturbed by teachers' rhetoric, actions and the ways in which they were allowed to treat me (and others). Despite my pain, the school principal and other members of the rabbinate refused to believe me, support me or help me when I was falsely accused of improper behavior. In the end, I switched from that school to the non-Jewish North Shore Country Day School in Winnetka, an experience which brought me a great deal of healing.

Out of my pain, I once wrote a post to the off the derech community saying that I understood them completely. I had been there. I knew what it was like to be betrayed by the rabbis and teachers who were supposed to be your guides and role models. I knew what it was like to be lied about. I knew what it was like to be hurt. I knew what it was like to be so angry that I felt like Judaism itself was at fault. For two years after my high school experience, I did not touch a siddur, a chumash or engage in typical Jewish study. (I did attend TI and take Jewish Philosophy courses, which were refreshing and helpful when it came to forging my understanding of the religion). I was too angry and too hurt.

And that is the reason that I feel the pain of LGBTQ+ members of our community. People like Joshua have to force themselves to "gather the strength required to learn, for yet another day, alongside rabbis that had publicly called gay people an abomination, blamed them for natural disasters, and advocated for conversion therapy—a pseudoscience so dangerous it has been outlawed in many states." He and others live in fear of being "discovered" or outed.

Joshua shared his gay identity with his roommate. The roommate was so disturbed that he immediately moved out. Now, I understand why this might be. It must be disconcerting to realize that the person you are living with potentially views you as a sexual partner. You probably would have behaved differently (in terms of how you dressed, if nothing else) had you known that. Thus, it is likely the roommate simply felt like his privacy had been invaded and was upset. But to Joshua, his roommate's leaving felt like this person, this individual he had thought was his friend, was saying he would not stand by him. It was deeply painful.

I was at YU when a gay student ran for a position on student council, and I saw the posters put up with quotes about homosexuality and bestiality. (I also saw fellow students tear them down.) I was Editor in Chief of The Observer when Dr. Ladin came out as transgender. I and my staff covered her story. It is an issue of the newspaper of which I remain proud. We had an interview with Dr. Ladin, articles about the halakhic process of transitioning, informational content on what gender dysphoria is, student responses, and interviews with other Orthodox or formerly Orthodox transgender individuals. I was at YU when the historic gay panel took place (I wrote the transcript).

I thought we had gotten past this. I thought our community understood. But it appears the same message needs to be repeated once again. Here it is:

It is entirely possible to be a halakhic Jew who believes certain actions (actions, NOT people) are forbidden according to the law and still- STILL- remain loving, respectful and kind. To understand is not to condone.

A Jewish Orthodox LGBTQ+ individual faces immense struggle. But it is up to God to judge-  not us. Our job is to respect the person, to be kind to them, to reach out to them, to always act out of love. And, of course, to remember that this person is keeping many more mitzvot than they may be transgressing (assuming they are even acting upon their identity.)

So how do we fix it? How do we create an environment where people would not laugh at Ben Shapiro's jokes targeted at transgender individuals? How do we raise kind children? Among other things, we need to provide them with information.

I believe that every Jewish day school should have a class that addresses Contemporary Topics and/or Evaded Issues. (Full disclosure: I teach this class!) I think it is essential that students are actually taught the sources on homosexuality and/or transitioning when one is trans. They should see exactly what the halakha says. And then they should also be taught facts. They should know medical facts about what doctors currently believe it means when one is gay or trans. They should be given knowledge and they should be taught compassion.

We are alienating individuals from the Orthodox community. We are going to lose them. Some of these individuals are our best and brightest minds (this young man went to Yale, which should demonstrate something in itself). And yet, if we continue as we have been, we are going to make our gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans children leave Judaism (certainly Orthodox Judaism).

I am not saying you need to approve or condone every behavior or action. But your qualms, if you have them, should be totally motivated by halakhic adherence, not by personal antipathy, ignorance or disgust. You must act and speak with the greatest kindness. If there is something you cannot do because God has forbidden you to do it, the attitude must be one of sorrow. I wish I could tell you this is permitted, but I can't...and I know it pains you...and it pains me, too. I feel your hurt and I am sorry for it. I wish I could change it. LGBTQ individuals comprise our students, friends and family members. We must find a way to keep them with us. The loss we face from their defection- the splintering families, the weakened community, this creation of "us" vs. "them" to our detriment-  is too great.